Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalam O Alaikum,

I have been attracted to a girl who was my girlfriend before my marraige who betrayed me. I use to talk to her and sms her without my wifes knowledge i met her thrice but in my last visit to her we made clear to each other that we will never meet again if ever we meet we should meet as complete family gathering. but by then my wife came to know and she asked me to swear on quran that i will not call her sms her or meet her so i did. but on messanger i had a last chat telling her i wont be able to chat or stay in touch with her but if sshe send me sms i will just read them but not reply. but wife called her then and fired her so she stoped that too. she use to wear short n western dressses so i had told her dont wea she listeend to me and stopped that. she started use salam and allah in her sentences to me also and visiting dargah too. if i make some different id and try to convince her for islam will i be breaking my promise. i dont have any physical desire anymore for her all i feel is sending festival greeting am i breaking my promise please help me.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Keep in touch with girlfriend

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:

…..(Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity, not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who are losers.

Dear and beloved brother in Islam, it is absolutely and categorically forbidden for a believer to develop or maintain a ‘relationship’ with a non-mehram woman of the opposite sex, before or after marriage…..leave alone breaking the promise made to one’s wife that one will not continue a former unlawful relationship, if one develops or maintains the unlawful relationship with a non-mehram woman out of marriage, one would be guilty of breaking the covenant of piety and righteousness with Allah Subhanah!!!

Beloved brother, as great and meritorious a deed the doing of ‘dawah’ or inviting others unto the Truth of Allah Subhanah might be in the Sight of the Lord, it would be best, not only in maintaining harmony in your marriage, but also in the Sight of Allah that you completely and absolutely break all relations with your ‘former girlfriend’…..that would be akin to piety and righteousness in the Sight of the Lord.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan