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After marriage khula to marry lover allowed

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

 Asalamo Alikum,
Muslim brothers i would like to ask a question that can a muslim girl take khula in order to marry her love. Since she cries a lot and was forced by her parents to marry. 
And plz also tell me the  way to take khula.

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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Wa Alaykum as Salam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Sister, you have agreed to the nikah, got married with your eyes wide open and now within a few weeks you decide you want to separate. What can anyone do? You have to speak up when it matters. Now the marriage is consummated, the families honor is at stake and you are not happy. We understand that your parents have put a lot of pressure on you, but at the end you agreed. That is what counts. You could have put pressure on your parents too, that you are not ready to marry your husband and with difficulty and help from other relatives you could have stopped the wedding. You think your love man and his family will accept you now, then you should seriously think again. Marriage is not a joke as many loved ones are involved.
Under the circumstances you are in sister, the best thing is that you forget the past and start making an effort to be a good wife to your husband. If you talk about divorce your parents will make life miserable for you and maybe throw you out of the house. Don't bank on your ex love as without your family's support his family might not accept you and force that man to cut all relations with you. Wake up and see reality. The puppy love you shared with ex love is of no real consequence.
Don't spoil your life by making things difficult for yourself. Thousands if not millions like you from the sub-continent and Indo-Pak region have gone through such arranged marriages. Believe us sister, more than 75%-80% of them have worked. You are seeing things differently, but even you did not put your foot down when it would have mattered. There are no guarantees of a marriage working, both the parties have to make an effort in making it work. Even the godless westerners have major problems of keeping their marriage intact.
So fear Allah swt and give your marriage a chance to succeed. Nobody actually forced you, you did give your consent. Let us explain what usually happens in a divorce situation. First of all you need your parents support in initiating a divorce, if that is not there you do not stand a chance. Then both the families who are now joined will break up forever and you would be the cause. You cannot fend for yourself, you do not have a job or any savings, how would you live. You would lose your family forever, there would be a general boycott declared. And as a climax if your ex love does not accede to marry you, then only Allah swt can help you.
Think sister, is it worth all these headaches.
If you are yet bent upon separation, then talk to your mother and see what advice she gives you. Her love is unconditional and she will give her full support to you. Then listen to her and go forward as to whatever she advises. Maybe you can talk to your mother heart to heart. There is no stronger bond than between mother and daughter. You will have to get these important people to see your plight so that they can help.
May Allah swt make your trials easy. If there is anything we can do please do not hesitate to email us. 

Some of the valid grounds for seeking khula in the court of law:

Apostacy from Islam

Impotency of husband

Lack of sterility of husband

Cruelty of husband

The whereabouts of husband are unknown for a period of four years

Failure of a husband to provide for the maintenance of the wife

Failure without reasonable cause to perform marital obligations (sexual rights)


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 229 (part):

…..If ye do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom (divorce). These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them.  If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).

If the wife initiates a divorce for a strong and genuine reason/s, she would be blameless for the divorce taking place in the Sight of Allah Subhanah; but if a wife initiates a divorce for frivolous reason, indeed she will be held to severe account for breaking the sacred institution of marriage in the Court of Allah Subhanah.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2218  Narrated by Thawban

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, (even) the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her!’

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2173  Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Of all the lawful acts’ the most detestable to Allah is divorce.’

We have replied you general answer when and why khula can be filed. If you think that your husband is not fulfilling your rights and if you think that you will be able to answer and justify your khula to Allah swt on Final Day, you are well within your right to initiate divorce against your husband and there will be no sin attached on you.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline

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