Abusive husband.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Assalam
Alaikum Wa
Dear Brother in Islam,
I have
been married for 8 months and have faced many problems with my husband. He
committed zina in the past with a Christian lady but i forgive him and still
married him my parents were not in favour of this marriage but i kept on
insisting and fought with my parents cause i loved him but his attitude changed
towards me after a week from the day of our marriage. He started beating me
very badly and stopped me from going to my friends, relatives and even my
parents. That christian lady is still talking to him on the phone even after
our marriage. His anger is very bad and when he is mad he beats me and breaks
all the things in front of him . It is very difficult for me to handle him and
i sometimes cant bear his talks as he uses very bad language for me & my
parents.
Dear
brother I love my husband very much and dont want to leave him but sometimes it
is unbearable for me I dont know what to do?
Plz
guide me and tell if can recite something which can keep him away from these
evil ladies and he can be gud to me.
Jazzak Allah Khair
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Answer:
Abusive husband
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Your
Question: …..Plz guide me and tell if can recite something which can keep him
away from these evil ladies and he can be gud to me.
Respected sister in Islam, if the recitation of a few
phrases was all it took to instill the fear of Allah Subhanah into someone’s
heart or change the character or behavior of someone, the Messenger of Allah
(saws) would have recited the phrases on the likes of Abu Jahl and Abu Lahab
and they would have feared Allah and been guided aright!!!
Respected Sister in Islam, the sacred institution of
marriage in Islam is not a union between two people who compete against each
other, but rather a marriage in Islam is a sacred union between two people who
complement each other in their partnership, who develop and maintain the love
and mercy between them that Allah Subhanah has created for them in their
marriage, and strive together as a team to live a life of peace, harmony and
tranquility under the fear and guidance of Allah.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 34:
34
Men are the
protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has
given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their
means. Therefore the righteous women are
devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have
them guard (their chastity, their husband’s honor, property, etc.)
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah
Rome verse 21:
21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among
yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put
love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for
those who reflect.
If one truly seeks guidance in one’s marriage, there is no
better recipe for peace, harmony and tranquility in one’s relationship with
one’s spouse in marriage than the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect
Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best
among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best
of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my
family."
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The whole
world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious
woman.’
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing
man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her
characteristics, he will be pleased with another.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358 Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq
The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats
badly those under his authority will not enter
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him)
was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her
husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not
go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of
which he disapproves."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Had it been
permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have
ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 284 Narrated by AbuAli Talq ibn Ali
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘When a man sends
for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she
may be occupied in baking bread.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies while
her husband was pleased with her, she will enter
Amongst the obligatory rights that are due from a husband
to his wife in marriage are that he honor her, love her, cherish her, be kind,
generous and merciful towards her, protect her, and provide for her complete
upkeep according to his means.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358 Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq
The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats
badly those under his authority will not enter
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect
Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best
among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’
In return for everything the husband does for the wife in
the sacred bond of marriage, the guidance of Islam commands and guides the wife
to be grateful and devoutly obedient to her husband.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him)
was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her
husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not
go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of
which he disapproves."
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.28 Narrated by Ibn Abbas
The Prophet (saws) said: "I was shown
the Hell-Fire and found that the majority of its dwellers were women who were
ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah? (or are they
ungrateful to Allah?)” He (saws) replied, "They are
not thankful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors done to them.
Even if you were to do good to one of them all your life, when she seems some
harshness from you, she will say, "I have never seen any good from
you!"
Beloved Sister, if your husband is not willing to give you
your due rights in the marriage, you have two lawful options in Islam:
- Bear
his unjust oppression with patience with the conviction that justice will
be served and you will get your full and due retribution in the Presence
of your Lord Most Just, Most Supreme on that Inevitable Day of Judgment;
and thus save your marriage.
- If
you cannot bring yourself to bear the unjust oppression of your husband in
the marriage, you are well within your rights to initiate a divorce
proceedings against such an evil and impious husband….and if what you have
related is indeed true, there would be no blame or sin upon you.
Respected Sister, if you opt to save your
marriage….regardless of whether or not your husband chooses to fulfill all his
rights towards you or not, you should fear Allah and make absolutely sure that
you fulfill all the rights that are due unto him in the marriage. It might appear that one who is unjust might
get away with his injustice and oppression in the life of this short and
transient world; but we assure you sister, none will get away with one’s
oppression and injustice in the Presence of the Lord Most Majestic Most Supreme
on that Inevitable Day of Judgment!
Sahih Muslim
Hadith 6251 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's
Messenger (saws) said: ‘Do you know who is a ‘muflis’ (abjectly poor or one who
is totally bankrupt)?’ They (the Companions (r.a.) of the Prophet (saws)) said:
‘A ‘muflis’ amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth.’ He
(the Prophet (saws)) said: ‘The ‘muflis’ of my Ummah would be he who would come
on the Day of Resurrection with prayers and fasts and Zakah but (he would find
himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues)
since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others, unlawfully
consumed the wealth of others, shed the blood of others, and beat others. His
virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And
if his good deeds fall short to clear the account (of his mis-deeds), then
their sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the
Hell-Fire!’
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister