Complaint from a wife about her husband’s treatment in bed

Dear Brothers & Sisters,
As-Salaamu-Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
My question is very embarrassing but there is nobody I can ask about this.
My husband is good and pious, and I have no reason not to trust him, but he is not giving me my rights in bed. Is it permissible for me to ask him for a divorce, or will I be one of those who will not smell the fragrance of Paradise?
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Praise be to Allaah.

If a husband is fulfilling his Islamic duties towards his wife, it is not permissible for her to ask him for a divorce, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any woman asks her husband for a divorce for no compelling reason, she will be deprived of the fragrance of Paradise.”

(Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 21874, and Ibn Maajah, 2055). The meaning of the phrase “for no compelling reason” is anything that gives her a strong motive for seeking divorce. (Sharh Ibn Maajah ‘ala al-Sanadi).

As for intercourse in bed, if the wife’s demands are greater than what is normal, it is not permissible for her to seek a divorce (the word “normal” refers to what is usual, such as once a week or once every ten days and so on, and people vary in their capacity in this regard). For more information, please see Question # 1078.

If the husband has some defect or sickness that prevents him from having intercourse (i.e., he is impotent), then it is permissible for his wife to ask for a divorce. And Allaah knows best.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah's Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

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