Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalam

I am married since 3 months. My wife didn`t bleeded on the first night. This made me think about her character, though her mother is Haji. She told me later that she had a boyfriend in her college days, but never had sex with him. i am not able to believe her. whenever she comes close to me, i feel she must have been the same way with her BF. I am getting irritated by her. When ever i think about this thing my Heart beats faster & i start to shiver. I never touched any girl in my life even when there were so many girls who wanted me to do it with them. Why has this thing happenend to me & what should i do

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Answer:

Hymen break bleed sex

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Statement: My wife didn`t bleeded on the first night.

Respected brother in Islam, any person who has even a basic knowledge of medicine will confirm that not every woman bleeds the first time she has sexual intercourse, especially if the woman has led a physically active life, or is an athlete, or has played active physical sports, etc.

To even surmise that a woman is not a virgin only because she did not bleed the first time she had sex is an absolutely baseless assumption.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 49 Surah Hujuraat verse 12:

12 O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it...but fear Allah: for Allah is Oft-Returning Most Merciful.

Respected brother in Islam, if your wife has borne witness unto you that she is a virgin, you should fear Allah and accept her testimony; for nothing destroys the sacred bond and relationship of marriage more than false suspicions. Unless and until you have solid evidence and proof to the contrary, especially after your wife has herself borne witness that she did not indulge in the abomination of ‘zina’ or illegal sexual intercourse….you should fear Allah and not doubt her chastity in the least, for there are only a handful of sins greater in the Sight of Allah Subhanah than to accuse a chaste believing woman of being immoral or unchaste.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.28 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "Avoid the Seven Great Destructive sins." The people enquired, "O Allah's Messenger (saws)! What are they? " He (saws) replied,

1. “To join others in worship along with Allah,
2. to practice sorcery,
3. to kill the life which Allah has forbidden except for a just cause, (according to Islamic law),
4. to eat up riba (usury),
5. to eat up an orphan's wealth,
6. to give back to the enemy and fleeing from the battlefield at the time of fighting,
7. and to accuse chaste women, who never even think of anything touching their chastity, and are good believers.”

Even if a husband was absolutely convinced that the woman he chose to marry had indulged in the abomination of ‘zina’ prior to their marriage, and it is in the husband’s knowledge that his wife had subsequently turned unto her Lord in sincere ‘taubah’ and sought sincere forgiveness for her manifest transgression…..it would only be akin to piety and righteousness in the Sight of Allah Subhanah, and a character becoming of a believer that he absolutely disregard that past sin of his wife, and neither hint nor remind her or even himself of that sin that transpired in her past.

If one looks in one’s own past, one will find a multitude of sins one might have done which the Lord Most Merciful has screened from being exposed…..Just as one wishes that the Lord would forgive them their own past sins, it would only be piety and righteousness in the Sight of Allah if the husband were to forgive and overlook the past deeds of his wife, deeds for which she has already sought sincere repentance.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verse 22:

……let them (believers) forgive and overlook (each others faults): do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? For Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 2.373 Narrated by Usama bin Zaid

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “Allah is merciful only to those of His slaves who are merciful (to others)."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.26 Narrated by Abu Huraira

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully (by the Lord Most Gracious, Most High)."

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan