If a man continuously refuses to have a sex with his wife and he seeks ways to run off from her.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
When a
wife does not responds to a sexual call of a husband repeatedly and continously
he is advised to marry another woman for his pleasure but if a man continuously
refuses to have a sex with his wife and he seeks ways to run off from her but
he maintains her very nicely with his income then what is she suppose to do to
release her desires? please comment
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errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
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confidentiality.)
Answer:
Husband
disinterested in Sex
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Respected Sister in Islam, not every individual (man or
woman) has been bestowed with the same level of sexual desire; thus it is very
possible that one amongst the partners in marriage has more appetite for sex
than the other, and that would be absolutely normal and natural. But if one has an unusually low level of
sexual appetite for their age, it would be prudent to consult an expert in the
field of medicine who would be obviously better qualified to determine its
reason and/or recommend a remedy.
The only route Islam has made lawful for one to fulfill
their natural physical desire is through the sacred institution of marriage.
Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: ‘The Messenger
of Allah (saws) said: “there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your
wife."’ The companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a
reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know
that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is
rewarded."
Related by Ahmad and Muslim.
If one has committed themselves to the sacred institution
of marriage, then indeed it would be their duty to fully cooperate and satisfy
this natural and physical demand and appetite of their spouse. If one, without an absolutely genuine reason,
chooses not to fulfill this their duty in marriage, it would indeed be regarded
and considered a sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3257 Narrated by Talq ibn Ali
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a
man calls his wife to satisfy his desire (ie. sexual intercourse) she must go
to him even if she is occupied at the oven!"
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.460 Narrated by Abu Huraira
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "If a
husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she
refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the Angels will curse her till
morning."
Although the above guidance is addressed specifically to
the womenfolk, the absolute majority of the scholars and jurists in Islam are
of the opinion that the same guidance would also apply to the husbands as it
does to the wife.
Beloved Sister, if after your very best efforts your
husband is still not able to satisfy your natural physical desires, you have
two lawful options in Shariah:
- Either
bear your situation and condition with patience, and save your marriage;
or….
- You
would be very within your rights if you wish to initiate a divorce
proceedings and seek to marry someone else.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan