I cannot tell my parents to allow me to marry and they will not allow me now.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
i cannot tell my parents to allow me to marry and they will not allow me now, so i want to marry without telling them as i want to be away from gunah by meeting my fiance. tell me what should be the solution
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:
5 …. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity, not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).
Beloved Brother, the guidance of Islam Commands and Demands that the believers marry desiring chastity, not lewdness and secret intrigues! It is only those who are inclined towards the heinous and abomination of the evil of ‘zina’ who develop lewd and secret intrigues; for the sacred institution of marriage in Islam is a public affair whereby one is guided and commanded to openly declare one’s sacred association of marriage to the society one lives in by offering the ‘walima’ or marriage banquet or feast.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.395 Narrated by Anas
The Prophet (saws) seeing a yellow mark (of perfume) on the clothes of 'Abdur-Rahman bin 'Auf, said, "What about you?" 'Abdur-Rahman replied, "I have married a woman with a Mahr of gold equal to a date-stone." The Prophet (saws) said, "May Allah bestow His Blessing on you (in your marriage). Give a wedding banquet, (Walima) even with one sheep."
For a ‘marriage’ or ‘nikaah’ to be lawful and acceptable in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah, the following four absolutely obligatory conditions of an Islamic ‘nikaah’ have to fulfilled:
- Proposal by one party and acceptance by the other.
- The determination of ‘mehr’ for the bride.
- The availability of at least two witnesses to the marriage contract.
- The consent of the parents/guardians of the bride to the marriage contract.
As much as it would be against piety, righteousness, and behavior becoming of a muslim to marry secretly without informing or the participation of their near and loved ones, if one has fulfilled all the obligatory conditions of an Islamic marriage, their marriage itself will be considered lawful in the Sight of Shariah Law.
Your Question: ….tell me what should be the solution
The ‘solution’ my dear and beloved brother in Islam is to sincerely fear Allah Subhanah and not do anything which would ignite or incite the Displeasure, Wrath and Anger of The Lord Most Majestic, Most Supreme! It would only be akin to piety and righteousness on your part to display patience, and not contrive or conspire to marry your fiancé secretly and make a mockery of the sacred institution of marriage…..but rather with extreme wisdom, patience, and tenderness explain your condition to your beloved parents and seek their approval and consent to your marriage.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,