Wifes duty responsibility to cook wash chores.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
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One of our brothers/sisters has asked
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i always forward
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Subject : RE: FW: (Islamhelpline) Duties of Husband & Wife in Marriage
Can you ask Burhan, what specifically are the duties of a women,can he name
them please ask him not to be vague in the answer.I am asking what a women
should do in the house.If she has to be obedient to man,then if man ask her to
cook please, should she cook or not if she does not cook would it not be
disobedience,or would it be according to sharia.
I am not sure if Mr Burhan wants to say.I f he says women responsibility is to
obey the man and if she says she would not is not disobedience.Or i think he is
saying man should not even ask wife to cook. I just can not believe that Lord
has said that ever thing man has to do and women nothing at all.What comes
under the husband obedience.
The other thing is if a women wants to work and husband says no is she allowed
to work then.
Badar
CaN you ask Mr Burhan.Did prophet cook routinely.Who can be better than
prophet.I do not think he would cook food routinely.Can Mr Burhan quote a
refernce where it is specifically mentioned cooking and washing is mens`
responsibilty.Please ask him not to give his opinion but quote a refernce.i am
not asking for his analysis but a refernce from quran and hadith.
Thanks
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Answer:
Wife’s duty
responsibility to cook wash chores
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Your
Question: Can you ask Burhan, what specifically are the duties of a women,can
he name them please ask him not to be vague in the answer.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 34:
34
Men are the
protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has
given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their
means. Therefore the righteous women are
devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have
them guard (their chastity, their husband’s honor, property, etc.)
The complete financial responsibility of the upkeep and
maintenance of the house and the family is the responsibility and duty of the
men in Islam. It is the responsibility
and duty of the men in Islam to protect and maintain the women.
It is the responsibility of the men in Islam to make sure
that food is provided to the womenfolk and family in their care, that clothing
is provided for them, that a place is provided for them to reside in, etc.;
Although the complete financial responsibility in running
the household is the prime duty and responsibility of the husband in Islam, it
is also his responsibility and he will be held accountable by the Lord to take
measures to maintain and protect his family to the absolute best of his
ability.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.116 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar
The Prophet (saws) said, "Everyone of
you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for those under your
ward). A ruler is a guardian and is responsible (for his subjects); a man
is a guardian of his family and responsible (for them); a wife is a
guardian of her husband's house and she is responsible (for it), a slave is a
guardian of his master's property and is responsible (for that). Beware! All of
you are guardians and are responsible (for those your wards)."
Thus in essence, the two main duties and responsibilities
of the husband for which he will be held accountable in the Presence of the
Lord is to provide for the financial upkeep and needs of the family, and be a
responsible leader, guardian, and caretaker of the family. For example if the wife (or their children)
openly disobey the Command of Allah Subhanah like not praying, or not fasting,
or not wearing the ‘hijaab’, or wearing indecent clothes, or practicing
‘fahisha’, etc.; and the husband allows this disobedience taking place under
his leadership without so much as striving to stop it, he will be held
accountable for his lapse of duty for those under in care.
My dear and beloved brother, the above are the direct
answers according to Islamic Law regarding the prescribed duties and
responsibilities of a husband in marriage; but the sacred institution of
marriage in Islam is not a union between two people who compete against each
other, but rather a marriage in Islam is a sacred union between two people who
complement each other in their partnership, who develop and maintain the love
and mercy between them that Allah Subhanah has created for them in their
marriage, and strive together as a team to live a life of peace, harmony and
tranquility under the fear and guidance of Allah.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah
Rome verse 21:
21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among
yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put
love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for
those who reflect.
If one truly seeks guidance in one’s marriage, there is no
better recipe for peace, harmony and tranquility in one’s relationship with
one’s spouse in marriage than the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect
Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best
among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best
of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my
family."
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The whole
world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious
woman.’
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing
man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her
characteristics, he will be pleased with another.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358 Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq
The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats
badly those under his authority will not enter
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him)
was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her
husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not
go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of
which he disapproves."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Had it been
permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered
that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 284 Narrated by AbuAli Talq ibn Ali
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘When a man sends
for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she
may be occupied in baking bread.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies
while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter
Your Question: If she
has to be obedient to man,then if man ask her to cook please, should she cook
or not if she does not cook would it not be disobedience,or would it be
according to sharia.
It is the duty and
responsibility in Shariah of the male guardian of the family (father, husband,
etc.) to provide for the complete upkeep of the womenfolk under their care (mother,
wife, daughter, etc.)….including the providing of accommodation, clothing,
medicine, food, and everything else that they may require….and that is
precisely what is meant by declaring the men ‘qawwam’ in the Verse of the
Quran.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 34:
35
Men are the ‘qawwam’
(protectors and maintainers) of women because Allah
has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their
means. Therefore the righteous women are
devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have
them guard (their chastity, their husband’s honor, property, etc.)
It is the responsibility and the duty in Shariah of the
men to provide the food for the womenfolk under their care, and they may very
well ‘request’ the women under to care to cook or prepare the food; the women
is well within her rights to accept to fulfill the request of her guardian and
prepare the food if she wills to do so, or if she wills, she is well within her
rights in Shariah to refuse to fulfill the request.
If the woman fulfills the request, she would be acting
over and above her role and duty and the men should appreciate and be grateful
for her gesture of ‘ehsaan’; and if for any reason the woman exercises her
right to refuse to cook and prepare the food, it would remain the duty of her
guardian men to provide or arrange to provide for her food and upkeep.
It is an almost accepted norm in most societies that it is
the duty and responsibility of the guardian men of the household to earn and
provide for the financial upkeep of their families. If a male guardian (husband for instance),
whose prescribed duty it is in Shariah to provide for his family, sits at home
and expects and commands his wife to go and work and earn and provide for the
family and the wife exercises her option to refuse, it would not constitute
‘disobedience’. Similarly, if the wife
exercises her option to refuse to cook or prepare the food, which is the duty
of the male guardian in Shariah, it would not legally constitute disobedience
in the Sight of the Lord.
Your
Statement: If he says women responsibility is to obey the man and if she says
she would not is not disobedience.
Beloved brother, disobedience is only when one refuses to
obey a lawful command of their guardians; not when one exercises their right
and chooses to politely refuse a request.
Your Question: I just
can not believe that Lord has said that ever thing man has to do and women
nothing at all.What comes under the husband obedience.
It is indeed
unfortunate that the modern-educated-but-ignorant and ungodly society that we
live in today does not give due reverence and importance to the role of the
women, and especially her role as a mother, that she so rightfully deserves and
as guided by Allah Subhanah Himself…..
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chatper 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 1:
1 O mankind! Reverence your Guardian-Lord Who created you from a
single person created of like nature his mate and from them twain scattered
(like seeds) countless men and women; reverence Allah through Whom ye demand
your mutual (rights) and (reverence) the wombs (that bore you):
for Allah ever watches over you.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah
Luqman verse 14:
14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in
travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning:
(hear the Command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy
final) Goal.”
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.2 Narrated by Abu Huraira
A man came to Allah's Messenger (saws) and
said, "O Allah's Messenger (saws)! Who is more entitled to be treated with
the best companionship by me?" The Prophet (saws) said, "Your
mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet (saws) said,
"Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The
Prophet (saws) said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth
time, "Who is next?" The Prophet (saws) said, "Your
father."
Your Question (Again):
I just can not believe that Lord has said that ever thing man has to do and
women nothing at all.What comes under the husband obedience.
Al-Tirmidhi
Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu
Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him)
was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her
husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not
go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of
which he disapproves."
In return for everything the man does for her, the wife is
duty bound in Islam to obey her husband in every single ‘lawful’ command of
his; such is the reward of this obedience to lawful commands of her husband,
that if a believing woman worships Allah Subhanah as He deserves to be
worshipped and obeys her husband, she may enter any of the gates of Paradise
she wishes!
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a
woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her
chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of
Your Question: The
other thing is if a women wants to work and husband says no is she allowed to
work then.
Al-Tirmidhi
Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu
Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him)
was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her
husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not
go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything
of which he disapproves."
A woman in Islam is well within her rights to seek work
and earn in Shariah if she wishes to do so, provided she has the prior permission
and consent of her male guardian (father if unmarried and husband if married)……because
it is the prescribed duty of the male guardians to provide for her, they hold
the right to refuse to give her permission and she would be duty bound in
Shariah to obey this lawful command of theirs, if indeed she fears Allah and
the Last Day.
If the wife ignores or disregards the command of her
husband and seeks to go to work, she would indeed be in transgression of her
duty of obedience towards her husband.
Your
Question: CaN you ask Mr Burhan.Did prophet cook routinely.Who can be better
than prophet.I do not think he would cook food routinely.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.327 Narrated by Aisha
The family of Muhammad (saws) had not eaten
wheat bread to their satisfaction for three consecutive days since his (saws)
arrival at
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5822 Narrated by Aisha
Allah's Messenger (saws) used to patch his
sandals, sew his garment and conduct himself at home as anyone of you does in
his house. He was a human being, searching his garment for lice, milking his
sheep, and doing chores.
All the wives of the Messenger of Allah (saws) time and
time again bore witness that the Messenger of Allah (saws) would regularly
participate with them in doing the household chores. As much as the Prophet (saws) was the
absolute best example for all of mankind, his noble and chaste wives were
amongst the best and most righteous women who ever graced this planet
earth…..and it is inconceivable that they would never miss an opportunity to
deal in the ‘ehsaan’ (over and above their call of duty), especially when it
was something they could do for their beloved husband in his very home. It is inconceivable that the noble and
righteous wives of the Prophet (saws) would leave something in the household
chores to be done by their noble husband (saws), but even then each of them
have time and again vouched that the Messenger of Allah (saws) would
participate with them in doing the household chores.
Besides the Messenger of Allah (saws) employed the
services of his beloved and trusted slave, Hadrat Anas ibn Maalik (r.a.) who
was a young boy and would do most of the chores in the Prophet’s (saws)
household.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.64 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
I served the Prophet (saws) for ten years,
and he (saws) never said to me, "Uff!" (a minor harsh word denoting
impatience) and never blamed me by saying, "Why did you do so or why
didn't you do so?"
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4756 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
I served the Prophet (saws) at
Your Question: Can Mr
Burhan quote a refernce where it is specifically mentioned cooking and washing
is mens` responsibilty.Please ask him not to give his opinion but quote a
refernce.i am not asking for his analysis but a refernce from quran and hadith.
Allah Says
in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:
36
Men are the ‘qawwam’
(protectors and maintainers) of women because Allah
has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from
their means. Therefore the
righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what
Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their husband’s honor, property,
etc.)
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister