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Cursing your children

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

 Assalamu alaikum, I am a young muslimah and my father is muslim and my mother is Christian. She does not mind me being muslim and being raised muslim, I wear hijab and attend a muslim school that is causing us fianancial distress. My mother no longer wants to pay for this school anymore and wants to send me and my older sister to a public school. My father does not work and my mother is the breadwinner. My father is threatening to move to another country if we change schools, and I am desperately afraid he will curse me. He has said it before and I tried to get support from my muslim friends who tell me that it will be bad if he curses me because ALLAH SWT accepts a parents curse. I love allah and pray 5 times a day with all sunnah prayers. I make dua for Allah to help me and relieve me of my worry. I feel I need an expert opinion.
What is the ruling on cursing your children? I am not disobedient to my father, I could be better but he hurts me very badly sometimes, that I speak to him back. He has threatened tokill me before. Jazakallahu khairan 
 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sister it is very wrong to back answer your father and make him angry. As a good Muslimah, you should always be obedient to your parents, with kindness, humility and love. This is the command of your Lord and there are no options in this case. So even if sometimes you feel your father hurts you, you should just humbly zip your mouth and politely do as you are told without showing any signs of rebellion. You will find that in time you will get your way, because they are not your enemies, they are the ones who really love you the most unconditionally.
 
Parents never curse their children if they are obedient and loving. Its not possible. Yes if you antagonize them and create fitnah then in their rage they could unintentionally curse. But remember if you have not done anything wrong and remained in the limits of Shariah and Islam whilst dealing with your parents, then even their curses will not affect you. For the curse to affect you, you have to deserve their curse. Just by your father cursing you will not automatically make your life miserable. Allah swt is the ultimate judge in this matter. So you must fear Allah swt and ensure that His commands regarding obedience to parents is not broken.
 

May Allah swt grant you the patience and wisdom to deal with your parents in kindness, love and humility for the sole pleasure of your Lord. 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline


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