Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I have been sexually active and am about to get married. I was wondering how long you have to wait to have a nikah done from the last time you had intercourse, for both a man and a woman. I heard that you have to wait 4 months and 10 days to have a nikah if you have been sexually active, and during that time period you can not do anything.Please email me, for it is urgent, and let me know what applies for both man and woman.

Allah Hafiz

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Sexually active before marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Statement: I have been sexually active and am about to get married.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 23 Surah Muminoon verses 1-7:

1 The Believers must (eventually) win through

2 Those who humble themselves in their prayers;

3 Who avoid vain talk;

4 Who are active in deeds of charity;

5 Who abstain from sex

6 Except with those joined to them in the marriage bond or (the captives) whom their right hands possess; for (in their case) they are free from blame

7 But those whose desires exceed those limits are transgressors

Abu Dharr Ghaffari reports that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘[The sadaqah] from you is prescribed for you, and there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife.' It was asked: "O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) repleid: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."

Related by Ahmad and Muslim.

If one is married and is sexually active with his legally wedded wife/wives, he is liable to earn huge reward from his Lord for fulfilling his physical desires and passion legally; but if one is ‘sexually active’ with any other woman/women other than his wife/wives, he has indeed incurred a huge sin upon himself. Such a person must turn back to His Lord and seek sincere forgiveness for his transgression; it is expected he will find his Lord Forgiving and Merciful.

Your Question: I was wondering how long you have to wait to have a nikah done from the last time you had intercourse, for both a man and a woman. I heard that you have to wait 4 months and 10 days to have a nikah if you have been sexually active, and during that time period you can not do anything.

It is absolutely legal and permissible for a believer to marry a woman even the very next moment after he might have fulfilled his desire with his legally wedded wife; if he wishes to do so. There is absolutely no time restriction for a believer who is sexually active and wishes to marry another woman in Islam.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 234:

234 If any of you die and leave widows behind, they shall wait concerning themselves four months and ten days: when they have fulfilled their term there is no blame on you if they dispose of themselves in a just and reasonable manner. And Allah is well acquainted with what ye do.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 2.371 Narrated by Zainab bint Abi Salama

I went to Um Habiba, the wife of Prophet (saws), who said, "I heard the Prophet (saws) saying, 'It is not legal for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for any dead person for more than three days except for her husband, (for whom she should mourn) for four months and ten days.’"

The four months and ten days waiting period or ‘iddah’ is only for a believing widow whose husband has expired. A believing woman whose husband dies must wait for a period of four months and ten days before she can get married again.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan