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Wife not cooperating

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Asalam o Alaikum,
i want to ask a question Burhan brother, i m a boy of about 26 years old and i m married to one of my cousins. before marriage my cousin was interested in somebody else and she want to do everything to marry with that boy but her family did not accept it and pressurize her to marry with me i.e her cousin. before marriage i knew everything about it n i intended to marry to such a girl as a good deed. i confirmed before marriage is she willing and she showed her positive sign now i married n she does not cooperate with me n she has forgot every promise of before marriage n she is still ignoring me constantly. i have informed her n my family but she has no effect of these people at all. now i m in delima what should i do with such a girl who does not accept me n does not fulfill my desires as if i touch to her she says dont touch me and be far from me.


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Wife not cooperating

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rum verse 21: And of Allah’s Sign is that He has created for you wives from your own species, so that you may find peace with them, and (Allah has) created love and mercy between you. Surely in this there are many Signs for those who reflect.


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34: Men are the managers of the affairs of women because Allah has made the one superior to the other, and because men spend of their wealth on women. Virtuous women are , therefore, obedient (to their husbands); and they guard in his absence what Allah would have them guard (their honor, their property, etc.)


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of Paradise she wishes."


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah

The Prophet (saws) said: “If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.”


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 287 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal

The Prophet (saws) said: “Whenever a woman causes annoyance and torture to her husband in this world, his mate from among the Hoors of Paradise says to her: ‘May Allah ruin thee, do not cause thy husband annoyance; for he is only thy guest, and will soon leave thee to join us in Paradise.’


Your Question: now i m in delima what should i do with such a girl who does not accept me n does not fulfill my desires as if i touch to her she says dont touch me and be far from me.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.460 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the Angels will curse her till morning."


Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.122 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the Angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband)."


It does not behove a believing woman, who fears Allah and the Last Day, to refuse or rebuke her husband.


Dear and beloved brother, you should talk to your wife with patience and wisdom, and try to invite her to fear Allah and make her understand the rights that Allah Subhanah has granted a husband and a wife in the sacred bond of marriage. If after your best efforts, you feel that there is absolutely no improvement in her behavior and acceptance towards you; it would be best to divorce such a woman and there would be absolutely no sin upon you. If Allah Subhanah Wills and Pleases, He will bestow you a righteous wife, who will fear Allah Subhanah and give her husband his due rights.


Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your Brother in Islam,





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