Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalaamualaikum,

If a muslima is stuck between the wishes of her mother and her husband, who should she give preference. If she has to decide between the two who should she choose according to islam?

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Woman to choose between Husband and Mother

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24: Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34: Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard.

Neither the believing woman, nor her mother, nor her husband should create a situation whereby the woman has to choose between her mother and her husband!

Allah Subhanah has decreed that a believer give his/her parents the rights that are due to them, and a believing wife give her husband the rights that are due to him. The believing woman, who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day, should strive to fulfill her duties and responsibilities towards her parents, without compromising her duties and responsibilities towards her husband.

As a believing woman, her first preference over any matter will be to the Guidance and Command of Allah and His Messenger (saws). Thus, in the unusual circumstance, where the believing woman is forced to chose on a matter between the wish of her parents or the wish of her husband; she should choose the wish which is closest to the obedience of Allah and His Messenger (saws).

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan