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Secret Marriage and husband wants to dump me

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salam alaikom, I'm new Muslim last 2008 Dec.&married for 4 yrs,no kids ,I've been married for an Arab man and I'm Asian,I respect him so much and I wear even nikap,suddenly this dec.2012, I make facebook go family only , my mother ask me to put picture with put hijab cos she miss me,I don't want to put but I feel haram cos she crying , so I put in privacy,and my husband don't know that I have an account in fb , and January 2013 come, I found out that my husband have facebook account and all girls he talk, he denied me first but he later he tell the truth that he has,and at that time I don't log put my fb account he found out that I have too and he see the photo, he is too much angry and call me to much bad,is that mistakes only my family see that pic cos it's on privacy, now he tell me all the time lier and cheater, I explained him, it's for mama only but he don't believe & now he tell me he don't want me,by the way my married with him his family don't know he hide me for al this years,he don't have time with me and sad to say the things the husband and wife do he call another name not my name,now it's been month that we are not ok, I love him and I don't want to loose him, what would be the best u can do ? Can you advice me?he don't ever sleep with me till morning with in 4 years I'm alone,what can u say? And now when we are fighting he dont care about me, and he tell remove my hijab, and he don't care cos he will marry his cousin, I know I make mistakes, how about him he don't have mistakes? I don't know what I can do pls help me, I'm hinging realy,,

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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sister how can you accept a secret marriage wherein his people don't know about you. A marriage in secret is no marriage at all. Only illegal relationships are secret. A marriage is a legal bond which is honorable.
You have put yourself in this situation, wherein you have allowed this man to use you and now that he is fed up with you he is misusing you to get rid of you. Even if you disclose your relationship to his people, they will disown you completely as you are not even from their race.
If you have a marriage certificate, then you can approach the authorities and maybe get some compensation. We don't see him accommodating you in his life and home. You have no one to blame but yourself.
Sister the best way for you is to see if he has any shame and fear of Allah swt. Get him to come to your place and ask him to be fair and seek an amicable solution by which both of you will be happy. The only thing a normal Arab will be afraid of is, his relations with Allah swt.. Remind him that you are married to him and that he is responsible for your upkeep. Ask him how he will face his Lord on the Day of Judgement. Maybe he will soften up and treat you justly.
The other way is if you know his family or friends, speak to them to intervene and do justice. If all else fails report him to the authorities. He will be exposed and maybe you will receive justice.
May Allah swt make your trials easy.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline

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