Financial issues - husband does not pay wife: ..
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalam alaikum wa rehamatullahi wa barakathahu brother, i was working for a government company in dubai for some years i had done my mba and i had a very good position but from the time i learned that its prohibited in islam to mingle with men it disturbed me so much coz though i pray i fast during the ramadan properly i started my hijab in my 30 years i was not convinient i seeked the permission of my husband he refused and said to continueduring that period of time my husband was average earning person and out of my wish i spend some amount and saved some amount but he will calculate my salary and sees to it that there is no savings for me he used to be rude to me to the extend that he used very hard words even during my pregnency that i will send u out of the house and i will not give u food i used to undergo lot of trobles coz of this my parents were also having some financial trouble i help them without his knowledge coz Allah SWT gave me barakah. during that time he hardly gives me money and asks so many times even after i tell him breakdown of the expenses for eg he will give me 10or 200 dhs maximum once or twice in a month and tells why did u buy this and why did u buy that he also buys grocery for the month even though he will not say me to buy grocery i go and buy so that i will have a satisfaction of being getting not cursed by him he will tell me to pay salary for maid coz iam going to the job and therefore i was not able to take care of my children i used to manage with the support of parents who were also resident in dubai he tells me to pay a big amount of school fee for children giving the reasons that u will also learn the responsibility of ur family that time my salary was less and i manage to do he used me to by the the airtickets when u have travel back home for any purpose he so he was paying rent for the house and water electricity and partially food, and school and airtickets very less then i started to indulge myself in isalm a lot i started with abaya
I used to spend reading hadeeth and gaining knowledge then i got a good job through the help of my father from where i had alhamdulillah good earnings then then i came across hadeeth which gave me an understanding that not to mingle with men i discussed with my husband but he refused indirectly one day when he was in india i called him i informed him iam resignin coz by that time he started flourishing in business and i resigned after understanding the nature of my husband i took some time if he hurts me all the time with spending for how iam going to manage this types of idea r put in to the mind of my husband that why she is handling her accounts seperately though i give a lot much for my family out of happiness. i had a car which i bought in instalments and i have to pay for balance of 6 months i requested him and he agreed and paid then he bought a luxury car and said can i give this to office iam planning for one more car i said i am not going out any where so please i am kind of natured person who do not even ask for the her rights from her husband which she is entitled after that he bought a car for his parents in india then he bought one more additional car for his parents in india he always disrespects my parents my brother me for the reason that we dont have money and humiliate me to the chore if u want some thing go work earn do it though i have made my mind not to do that unless god forbid the situation arises he will be capable of doing it but he will postpond it to please his mother alhamdulilaah by grace of almighty i have got a wonderful father in law and sister in law i used approach my mother in law tell her in a good way to do the acts what AllahSwt had forbid for us but of no vain she follow but from the time i left my job he gives money for the whole month i do saving till now i was thinking that he will give me my 25000 dhs and tell this is ur money and u can use for ur purpose i have never opened my mouth in these yrs after my job to give me my money on that that when he was humiliating me and my brother and parents as even after me requesting the maximum level equivalent to falling in his feet and he said i did this i did that that then for the first time i said in general i also have helped people without refering anything like him i have not taken any thing if i have taken ur car money i would have done equivalent to that and and will do it in future also whereas Allah has blessed us so much with that he can give 8 lakhs approximately for zakah so from the money which he is giving for the expenses i start to save a little. and i want to generate some income of my own i was waiting for my money that he will give now later and so on but i got to know he will not so what should i do can i use that savings to refund that dhs 25000 and when time comes i will tell him please help me brother.
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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Sister one thing is clear; your husband is solely responsible for all the expenses of your house, children and yourself. You are not responsible to spend even a Dirham from your money on the house.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaaverse 34: Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means (or wealth).
If he has taken your money then he should return the same to you for you to spend wherever you please, including on your parents or siblings. You do not need any permission from your husband whatsoever. If he refuses to return the amount he has taken that will remain a debt payable to you and he will be severely accountable in the just court of our Majestic Lord on that inevitable Day.
If you save any amount from the money he gives you to spend, you are at liberty to spend however you want and you do not have to tell your husband about it.
There is no harm in doing a job as long as all the laws of Islam are followed. If your husband permits you then you should work so that you will be able to earn some money and spend on whomsoever you wish without demeaning yourself for asking your husband to give you money.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brothers and well wishers in Islam,
Members of Islamhelpline