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Sex during Ramadan.

Sex during Ramadan.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Sir,

Hope you are doing well. I would really appreciate if you could kindly revert on the following question to me as soon as possible. I have sent the same to many other Islamic teaching centers / institutions but so far haven’t receive the reply. Then through the search I was able to find your email contact details & I am asking for the help from you. I am in a situation where I can not find a way; hence I would be very much obliged to have an appropriate answer of my following questions.

During Ramadan from morning sun rise to sun set evening fasting time, I understand it is prohibited to touch the opposite sex (female) and any other activities which motivate the sexual feelings. But what if it’s just a co worker touch you or shake hand or kiss while meeting or greeting?

After breaking fast in evening what if you had female guest coming setting for chat on business topic or work related topic?

Also, I wanted to know what are conditions / penalties if the female friend hug or kiss, or set beside where you can see her body.

Is it still HARAM to have SEX after EFTAR before SUHOOR? If so, then what would be the penalty or KAFARAH for that?

Is it HARAM to just kiss and sleep together but no sexual intercourse? If so, then what would be the penalty or KAFARAH for that?

I would really appreciate your prompt reply on above in order to clear the misunderstanding / misconception about our religion ISLAM & if any Muslim sister or brothers need assistance with in the community we can assist accordingly.

Many thanks for your help and assistance, & looking forward to hear form you soon.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Sex during Ramadan

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: During Ramadan from morning sun rise to sun set evening fasting time, I understand it is prohibited to touch the opposite sex (female) and any other activities which motivate the sexual feelings.

Respected brother, firstly lets divide the members of the opposite sex into two categories:

1. Mehram members of the opposite sex (mother, wife, sisters, daughters, etc….basically every woman one is prohibited to seek in marriage)

2. Non-Mehram members of the opposite sex (all the other women).

It is not that only in Ramadan the believers are prohibited from touching (the non-mehram) members of the opposite sex or indulging in activities which motivate sexual feelings…..this prohibition of Allah Subhanah is valid at all times: Ramadan or no Ramadan!!!

During the fasting hours of Ramadan, one is additionally prohibited from having sexual relations with one’s wife.

Your Question: ….But what if it’s just a co worker touch you or shake hand or kiss while meeting or greeting?

If the co-worker is a non-mehram member of the opposite sex, she should not be allowed to intentionally touch you, leave alone shake your hand or kiss you while greeting at any time…Ramadan or no Ramadan!!!

Your Question: ….After breaking fast in evening what if you had female guest coming setting for chat on business topic or work related topic?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verses 30-31:

30      Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.

31      And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their ….. (mehrams, womenfolk, children, etc.)

As long as all the conditions of ‘hijaab’ are scrupulously honored, there is absolutely no harm if one has a genuine need and talks or interacts with a member of the opposite sex in a strictly business-like manner.  What is categorically prohibited and indeed a sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah is that two non-mehram members of opposite sex meet in privacy, or talk vain or casual talk, or develop or maintain an illicit or lewd relationship…..and this prohibition applies at all times, Ramadan or no Ramadan!  

Al-Tirmidhi HadithHadith 3118         Narrated byUmar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram) woman, the Shaitaan is the third."

Your Question: Is it still HARAM to have SEX after EFTAR before SUHOOR?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 187:

187    Permitted to you on the night of the fasts is the approach to your wives.  They are your garments.  And ye are their garments.  Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now associate with them and seek what Allah hath ordained for you and eat and drink until the white thread of dawn appear to you distinct from its black thread; then complete your fast till the night appears; but do not associate with your wives while ye are in retreat in the mosques.  Those are limits (set by) Allah; approach not nigh thereto.  Thus doth Allah make clear His signs to men that they may learn self-restraint.

It is absolutely lawful and permissible in Islam for the husband and the wife to enjoy conjugal relations with each other in their sacred bond of marriage during the nights or non-fasting hours of the blessed month of Ramadan.

Your Question: ….If so, then what would be the penalty or KAFARAH for that?

If, Allah forbid, one has sex with one’s wife during the fasting hours in Ramadan, the atonement for this grave sin as prescribed by Shariah is as follows:

Abu Hurairah reported that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (saws) and said: "I am destroyed, O Messenger of Allah (saws)!" The Prophet (saws) asked: "What has destroyed you?"  He said, "I had intercourse with my wife during a day of Ramadan."  The Prophet (saws) asked: "Are you able to free a slave?"  He said, "No". The Prophet (saws) asked: "Is it possible for you to fast for two consecutive months?" He said, "No." The Prophet (saws) asked: "Is it possible for you to feed sixty poor people?" He said, "No."  The Prophet (saws) said: "Then sit."  A basket of dates was brought to the Prophet (saws) and he said to the man: ‘Give this in charity.’ The man said: "To someone poorer than us? There is no one in this city who is poorer than us!"  The Prophet (saws) laughed until his molar teeth could be seen and said: "Go and feed your family with it!"

Related by the Muslim and Bukhari.

If one is unable to control one’s desires for any reason and were to perform the actual act of sexual intercourse with ones spouse while in the state of fasting, it would indeed be a grave sin in the Sight of Allah.  The atonement for this sin as prescribed by the Messenger of Allah (saws) is that the person should either free a slave, or (if one is unable to do that) fast for two consecutive months, or (if one is unable to do even that) then feed sixty poor people!  Such is the enormity of the sin and the atonement of having sexual intercourse with one’s spouse while one is in the state of fasting.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan