Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

my husband is angry with me and staying seperate n we had no sex since 3 months. is he allowed to do so. and if wife wants to have sex with him how do we tell him.coz he is very religious n i am sure he knws al sharai things plz guide me n let me knw so that i can tell him.we are marrid for 19yrs n i love him lot n dont want to leave him.i try to col him but he is not ready to talk to me.he is gone deep into religion n neglecting his family n not keeping us happy.i have got 2 kids 18yrs daughter n 13yr son n i m38 yrs old.

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Answer:

Husband angry with wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: ‘The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife."’ The companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."

Related by Ahmad and Muslim.

Dear and beloved Sister, it is only obvious that it cannot be that going ‘deep’ into religion is the reason behind your husband being upset and angry; for if anything, going deep into religion would have brought him closer to you….but something must have transpired in the house or between the two of you which has made him distance himself from you! If you do truly love your husband and do not wish to lose him, it is absolutely imperative that either your husband cools down his anger and turns back to you, or you search for that thing which might have ignited his anger and thus his actions…..and the sooner you address that thing that upset him, the sooner things will return back to normal, Insha Allah.

This may not relate to your specific case, but if a wife finds herself in a situation where her husband intentionally does not associate with his wife for any reason whatsoever for a period of more than four months, and thus she finds herself in a hanging state whereby she is neither properly married nor properly divorced….Shariah Law allows that the wife has the right to approach a Shariah Court and demand that either her husband associate with her and give her her full rights in marriage, or grant her her freedom through divorce.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan