I am not allowed to read the Holy Quran
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalam Walaykum, I received your reply and read it very carefully.Let me thank you for your time and consideration to answer my question. Let me add a few more details to make it more clear to you. 1.I am refrained to read the Holy Quran with translation as my parents feel i am using it as a tool to support my relationship as i quoted a few verses to them they felt very angry as they felt i am trying to make them feel guilty but in true honesty and Allah alone knows that i had no such intention but just to tell my parents that marrying a good muslim is the utmost important thing in life and culture or community or status are secondary. What makes me sad is that the most important decision of my life is being compromised in the name of community which Allah swt himself in the Quran has mentioned that he dislikes any kind of divsion into sect or community. 2.Also as far as marrying a liberal bohri family is concerned, i want to ask is that when in the process of meeting boys i have been strictly asked by my parents not to ask any kind of religious questions like how many times do you pray? or will i be allowed to read Quran with translation etc I fear if i marry even a liberal bohri family and after marriage if i asked to do a few things i dissaprove of ...what will i be able to do then ? 3.As far as meeting the boy is concerned my father says that we have two younger sisters after me.they say no body will marry them and our community will not let us live and they want be able to show their face etc.What i want to know is does my marriage with a boy from outside the community affect my sisiters fate? 4.Also how does one get the answer from istekhara? Like in my case i perfomed istekhara and in the dua i said Allah please guide me if maarying the sunni boy (mentioning the name) or a bohri boy(mentioning the name of the proposal) from parents choice is good for me in this life and hereafter. i have been praying istekhara for about 20 days and i continue to pray till marriage InshaAllah. And all this while i have feeling very firm about my decision and i feel very positive, does it mean anything? because i dont noe if my personal feeling takes over or what.As i am talking to abohri boy simultaneously but i never feel anything positive for him or if i should consider him Although the boy appears to be decent and good family rtc religious part i dont know.So what does this all mean? 5.I wish to make the boy meet my parents but its such a heated up atmosphere in my home i feel scared that something may happen to them out of shock or something.I hope you undersand my worry.So how do i make it happen 6.I have lived 24 years of my life in darkness, i see this as a sign from Allah swt to follow the right path to read the Book understand it, read the hadees follow it, follow islam the way it is.Religion is my choice, i feel what answer do i give Allah swt on the day of judgement that i didnt stand up for something that is the utmost important thing in life? That i got scared and sat back and did nothing? I know my parents are very loving , they want me to be happy, they dont force me to marry a bohri boy without my consent..but at the end of the day they are in world of darkness,only if they would read the Quran and understand it, they would never fear irrelevant and minor things like community and fear only HIM. You are a bohri i am sure you underatnd what a fix i am into,but i am sure Allah swt will help me for whatever is best in my favour for in this life and hereafter.
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Answer:
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Sister, you are correct, we were bohris before and we comprehend your situation totally. Rest assured we will try our best to pass on our experience and expertise to you till the end.
First of all you must let this matter cool down. Inform your parents that you do not wish to marry in a hurry and repent later. Are your sisters old enough to get married within 2/3 years? If so request your parents to get them married first.
There is no restriction in the bohris if one of their daughter gets married to a Sunni Muslim boy. The fear that no one will marry the other sisters is just fear. In reality there is no such thing. If one worries about the samaaj then there is no end and there will be many complications in life. The samaaj don't pay your bills and one must do what is best for them.
Tell your parents very clearly with lots of humility, that obedience to them is the command of Allah swt and you intend to keep that intact. The only time you can go against their commands is when it conflicts with Allah's swt command and that is to follow Islam in its true form. Reading and studying the Quran in a language that you can understand is paramount to follow the commands of Allah ajjavajal. Let there be no confusion in this matter, if anybody hinders you to seek knowledge of the Quran, you will have to fight tooth and nail to assert your rights. The only difference is when it concerns your parents you will have to do it with humility and kindness. There will be no sin attached to you if you disobey your parents in this instance.
If you have to make a compromise wherein you are literally forced to marry a bohri, then making conditions to follow Islam in its true form and reading the Quran with understanding and studying the a'ahadiths should be made very clear before the nikah. Talk to the boy yourself and make your conditions known clearly. Be bold in this matter and clarify with your in-laws to be. There can be no compromise in this matter whatsoever.
Sister, you do not need to do istikhara everyday. Once is enough. As we informed you earlier by doing istikhara you have presented your case in the court of your Rabb. Then you continue pursuing your intentions. Don't expect any dreams etc.. We believers firmly believe that Allah swt will make what is pleasing to Him and good for your deen, duniya and akhirah easy to accomplish. If things become difficult don't worry, just let it go and be content it is His will.
Sabr is what you will have to have in huge loads. Don't compromise in the principles of your deen, but in everything else be kind, loyal, obedient and co-operative. Make as many supplications as is easy for you to Allah swt alone in your language. He ajjavajal is aware of your situation and that is your trial.
Always keep best relations with your parents, no matter what. They are not your enemies. Tell them that you will not do anything to hurt or defame them. You must be prepared to make sacrifices. Remember what you think is good for you may not be in the sight of Allah swt.. So trust Him completely and take patience as your second nature. Do not discuss religion in the house unless someone begs you for information.
We have left the fold of bohris since 15 years. Half our family yet follow the Syedna. There is no enmity between us but whom Allah swt does not guide there is none who can guide them aright. We will InshaAllah receive our ajr (rewards) from Allah swt..
If there is any assistance you need please do not hesitate to let us know.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,
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Wister