Fighting for love

Dear Brothers & Sisters,
As-Salaamu-Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Why it is not permissible for a muslim boy to marry who he wants? I have read that he could marry any girl who is a jew or christian? What is usually the reaction of their parents? Do they accept him and give him support? I think he should fight for the love he feel for someone who is a non muslim. What do yo think? He is not doing nothing wrong, just being happy. I will like to receive a response. I am very interested. Thanks,
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Praise be to Allaah.

A Muslim man is permitted to marry anyone he likes of the women whom Allaah has allowed him to marry, but he is encouraged to marry a Muslim woman who is religious and has a good moral character (because this is the basis of true happiness). Similarly, he is permitted to marry a chaste woman of the People of the Book, i.e., Jews and Christians. Another basis for a happy marriage is that his parents should be pleased with his choice of bride, and part of the way in which parents show their love and kindness towards their son is by helping him to get married, whether financially or in other ways. As regards what you say about striving and fighting for the sake of love, we should stop and think about this matter carefully. We believe that feeling love for a particular woman is not the be-all and end-all in a Muslim’s life, for which he should give up everything that matters to him. No way! The Muslim is wise and pays attention to everything that is in his interests, such as the woman’s religious commitment and moral character, his parents’ approval, his own honour and reputation among people, the future of the marriage and its potential to endure, whether any bad things will result from his marriage to a particular woman and whether this outweighs his interests, the environment in which the children of the marriage will grow up, the nature of his future in-laws with whom he will have to mix, etc. It is not the matter of a fleeting desire, rather it is the matter of one’s future and eventual destiny.

Finally, we say that the love of a woman is not some god to be worshipped, rather it is a matter that is governed by the laws of the One God, Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah's Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

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