What to do in a bad marriage?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I`ve been married for 6 years but I don`t have a happy marriage. Can you guide me in what way can I achieve a happy marriage under Islam? Thank you.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
What to do in a bad marriage?
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
There are many reasons why one may not be happy or satisfied in his/her marriage:
Husband and wife not compatible.
Wife not obedient to her husband.
Husband not giving his rights to his wife.
Wife not giving her rights to her husband.
Parent and in-law issues.
Not having children.
Character and temperament of the husband or the wife.
or simply, because one does not like the other for any number of reasons.
If you could specify, what exactly is the issue in the marriage, we would be able to advise you in a much more specific way, in light of the Holy Quran and the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws).
Your Question: Can you guide me in what way can I achieve a happy marriage under Islam?
Without any specific information, we can only be general in our comment as to what one can do to achieve a happy married life under Islam. The most important thing that will almost guarantee a happy marriage is that both husband and wife are true believers, and sincerely obey each and every command of Allah and His Messenger (saws). That way each will be aware of, and each will devote his/her rights and duties towards their partner in Islam; which will result in happy, satisfied, and content marriage. The problems in a marriage generally happen when one abuses the others rights; which results in injustice, and thus hurts the sacred bond that Allah has created between the husband and wife in a marriage.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rum verse 21: And of Allah’s Sign is that He has created for you wives from your own species, so that you may find peace with them, and (Allah has) created love and mercy between you. Surely in this there are many Signs for those who reflect.
It is reported that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said in an authentic narration: ‘The whole is a provision (from Allah), and the best of the provisions is a righteous wife.”
Thus, in conclusion, what is required for a peaceful and loving marriage and a good wholesome life, is first and foremost the fear of Allah Subhanah; that one day everyone will have to stand alone in the Court of Allah Subhanah to give a full accounting of all his deeds. Once this God-consciousness and piety is developed in the person, he will always try to obey Allah and thus do all his deeds in the best manner, giving each the rights that are due to them.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,