Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Hello brother Burhan,

In Quran, beating women is allowed or ordained, even though as a last resort. Do you think that it is right to beat women like the current Taliban do their women ? In the 21st century this sounds barbaric.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Beating of Women in Islam

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

[an-Nisa' 4:34] (M. H. Shakir )

Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.

004, Verse 034: (Abdullah Yusuf Ali) Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because God has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what God would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For God is Most High, great (above you all).

The above aayah of Surah Nisa has been a mode of challenge for many of the non-believers, who challenge the Quran and the deen of Islam. They have always used this aayah to prove to the world that Islam allows the subjugation and abuse of women. But that is far from the truth, in the context of the Holy Quran and in the context of the wisdom of Islam.

First, we will give direct answers to your questions, and then try to explain the wisdom behind this verse, Insha Allah.

Your statement: In Quran, beating women is allowed or ordained, even though as a last resort.

In light of the above verse, as a last resort to save the marriage, Allah has allowed the husband to lightly beat his wife; more as a sign of dissaproval than to actually hurt the wife.

Your question: Do you think that it is right to beat women like the current Taliban do their women?

In the 21st century this sounds barbaric.

We assume you are stating your comment from the clips shown regularly on CNN, where it shows that a couple of men are beating a woman in Afghanistan. Firstly, we must understand, that this is an exception and not a norm! And because the enemies of Islam are always trying to discredit Islam, they shot this one clip and relay it time and time again on their channels, and try to prove that is how Islam treats their women. But this is far from the truth!

No man has a right to beat any women he wants. The aayah is meant specifically for the husband and wife, not any women. No man has a right to beat another woman. That is indeed barbaric, and in an Islamic State, that person would be severely punished.

Now to explain the wisdom behind this much challenged verse of the Holy Quran, where Allah has allowed a husband to lightly beat his wife, if he fears open rebellion from her.

It is obvious from the above aayah that Allah has not created man and woman equal in Islam. This term of ‘equality’ between man and woman is a philosophy of the west. They have propagated man and woman as ‘equal’, and in doing so, they have ‘separated’ them and their sacred unity. Although there are many discrepancies in the west making man and woman as equals, they have partly succeeded in making them ‘equal and separate’.

The Islamic viewpoint, in light and guidance of the Holy Quran is that Allah has created man and woman as ‘balanced’, each with its own sphere of responsibilities. If we follow Allah and His Messenger (saws), and the guidance of the Holy Quran, we will be able to treat man and woman as ‘balanced and united’, rather than ‘equal and separated’ as per the Western philosophy.

Now to your question, if beating the woman is legal in Islam.

Allah created man, and from the man himself, He created the woman, to be his partner and comfort. Allah says in the Holy Quran, that He has put love and mercy between the husband and wife, so that they may enjoy each others company and live a harmonious life in mutual respect and unity.

In the above aayah, Allah gives guidance about the characteristics of a virtuous and righteous woman. She is obedient to her husband (as long as the boundaries set by Allah are honored). She guards her rights of chastity for her husband. She guards the husbands property and children and the house in his absence. And she does all this under the care and watch of Allah, provided she is a God-Fearing person.

But if the husband fears that the wife is transgressing the boundaries of Allah, Allah has given him 4 options, 3 of which are mentioned in the above aayah.

Option 1: Admonish them. Basically means guide them, talk to them, advice them, and let them know that they are transgressing the boundaries set by Allah and His Messenger (saws). The scholars are of the opinion, that it is not enough that they should be admonished once, but we must be merciful and give them plenty of time to realize their mistake, and come back to the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).

Option 2: Keep them apart from your beds. Basically means, that after talking to them and guiding them several times, and the wife still does not listen, then as an extreme measure, and a clear sign of your disappointment with them, punish them (and yourself) by not having intimate relations with them. Because sometimes, if might happen, that the wife might think that you are not serious about your admonition and that you might back off at a later stage, and she does not comply. To let her know that you are serious about this particular issue, you take option 2, to signify your intention that you are extremely serious about it.

In most cases, if the woman is God Fearing and loves the husband and the marriage, you will never ever need to go beyond this option. But only in extreme cases, the men are allowed to use option 3 and 4.

Option 3: Beat her. After going through the motions of admonishing her, and even keeping her away from your bed, she is still in defiance, then Allah has recommended as a final resort, to beat her lightly. That does not mean by any means that we are allowed to abuse the woman and beat her black and blue. It is more of a symbolic, light beating (and never on the face), but rather on the back, as a sign of our ultimate displeasure. But please try to realize, that Allah is trying to save our marriage, and has given us so many routes and options to be followed in sequence, so that the sanctity and unity of the marriage can be maintained.

And finally, Option 4: Divorce. This is absolutely the last resort, but just look at the mercy of Allah here. The Islamic way to give divorce is after you have tried and lost hope that any of the above three options will work, you take the final step of divorce. And here too, you are recommended to give 1-divorce first. Then wait for 3 monthly periods. During this time, she still stays with you, and you keep her away from your beds and talk reason to her. Even then if she does not listen, then proclaim the second divorce. Again wait for a period of 3 monthly courses, again using this time to admonish her and not have sexual relations with her. Even after all this, she is still not relenting, then you give the 3^rd and final divorce.

All these options are given, so that the sanctity, sacredness, and unity of marriage is maintained. Most of us are married, and many a times, we come to a situation with our wives, where the issue is deadlocked. Almost all times the issue is solved if both the partners desire a solution and seek a compromise in the admonition stage. If the issue ever does go beyond this stage to option 2, that should solve the issue. Option 3 is absolutely optional, and one does not have to beat his wife to obtain a divorce! But if the woman is still not relenting after option 2, chances are the matter might eventually end up in divorce anyways.

I just want to point out another fallacy and hyprocracy of the western philosophy of ‘equality’ between the sexes. They advocate having two CEOs in the house! But they have and always have had one CEO for a company, for an organization, for a project, for a city, for the army, and even for the country! Why not try to run a company with two CEO’s and see the chaos they can create! Then why assume that the house can be run harmoniously with two CEOs!! They have formed the perfect recipe for running a disastrous marriage, and are seeing the results!!

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan