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Husband's not having sex with wife

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Me and my hudband have been married for 4 years and are religious. We have a boy. But after my son was born, my husband stopped having sex with me. He is having erection problems and is not interested in sex. I have been patient and prayed Allah to heal him since 3years but i cannot take it anymore and am in a bad mood all day. please help me. My husband prayers, reads religious books and hadith but does not spend time to satisfy his wife, when i ask him he tells we will do later, but that does not come. I fear if this continues like this my son will get affected. please help me. i am really worried and getting impatient.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)


In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sister this is indeed a severe trial that you are undergoing. Most probably this is a medical problem which can be easily cured. The problem is to get your husband to agree to see a specialist physician. You have to handle this issue with love, care, wisdom and tact. Without ridiculing or shaming your husband you have to cajole him to see reason and take medical help and assistance.

If he does not agree then Sister your options are limited to 2 only. One is you bear this situation with patience and save your marriage. The second option is you ask for a divorce and there will be no sin upon you. It is your right to expect conjugal relations with your husband and if he does not take the responsibility to fulfill this natural need of yours then you can safely say that no sin will be attached to you for requesting a divorce.

Before you ask for a divorce try advising your husband to fear Allah swt and know that it is his duty to fulfill your natural needs and if he intentionally does not make an effort to remedy his ailment/disease etc., then he would be severely accountable to Allah swt on that inevitable Day of Judgement for neglecting you and your needs.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahís Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline

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