Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
i need help how to solve the familly problems that Allah is trying us with We have 2 daughthers 20 & 18 years they are very much influenced by their coworks so called freinds all none muslim. they do not want a curfew ,they like to go where they please except they do not go to clubs or bars or where are boys
dear brother , my dilemma is ,if i get tough them they will move out and they will cut from islam it seems to me that is a blackmail because i want them slowly to get closer to the cause of Allah ( i know they will move out ) i only want to protect them from shittan the cursed one. I hope that you will have some suggestions how to handle this situatoin ......thank you
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Save family from hell fire
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 66 Surah Tahreem verse 6:
O you who have believed, save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel shall be men and stones; over which shall be appointed fierce and stern angels, who never disobey Allah’s Command, and they only do as they are commanded!
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.733 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar
That he heard Allah's Messenger (saws) saying, "Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for those in his care; the ruler is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects; the man is a guardian in his family and responsible for his charges; a woman is a guardian of her husband's house and responsible for her charges; and the servant is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for his charge; so everyone of you is a guardian and responsible for those under his care."
Dear and beloved brother in Islam, Allah Subhanah has made it an absolutely obligatory duty of every believing father/guardian to make sure he strives his utmost to not only save himself from the Fire, but to strive to save those under his authority (his wife, his off-spring, etc.) from the torment of the Fire! If one who has been made a guardian by the Lord neglects this obligatory duty, he will indeed be held accountable for his negligence in the Presence of the All-Knowing Lord on that Inevitable and Tumultuous Day of Judgment.
Respected brother, the time and age to guide one’s off-spring towards the obedience of the deen is not when they have attained the ages of 18 or 20….but one should strive to educate and incline them towards the following of the deen from an extremely early age like four and five….an age when the child is completely dependant on the impressions of their parents.
If a child grows up in a household where the elders of the house are negligent in following the deen, or if the child is not educated and guided to follow the dictates of the deen from an extremely early age…..it would be extremely difficult, but not impossible, to suddenly ask them to fear Allah when they reach the age of adulthood!
Once the children have reached the age of adulthood, all you can and should do is, with extreme patience and wisdom, reason with them and try to instill the fear of Allah in them…..and the absolute best start you can give them is to convince them to read the Message of the Glorious Book of Guidance (the Al-Quran) with understanding in a language they understand best.
If one has not fulfilled their duty unto their children and striven to instill the love of Islam and Allah Subhanah into them from an extremely early age, the honest truth brother is that all they can do now when they have reached the age of adulthood, is plead with them!
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,