He promised her some clothes then he gave them to his sister

Dear Brothers & Sisters,
As-Salaamu-Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
My husband sent some brand new clothes to his brother so that they could look at the latest womens designs for business in manufacturing them in china but he said that I could exchange them for clothes that I needed after his brother had looked at them, Later he told his brother to give the clothes to his sister instead of sending them back and he knows that I have not got any decent clothes at the moment to wear as most of my clothes have become torn and my weight did not go down after the recent birth of our third child. Was he right to spend a lot of money on these clothes when we did not have a lot of money and then give them to his sister instead of his wife, We are both in need butis it fare that she came before me and our 3 children who would benefit from some new clothes.
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Praise be to Allaah.

If the matter is as desribed, then your husband should fulfil his promise to you and get you some new clothes to replace these clothes. 

You should also look for excuses for what he did. Perhaps he felt too shy to ask for them to be returned, or his sister saw them and wanted them, or other excuses. 

The basic principle is that married life should be based on love and compassion, and tolerance and forgiveness. There is no perfect husband or perfect wife, and both of them may make mistakes. Rather life becomes good when you overlook mistakes, ignore minor issues and make excuses for one another. 

Your husband will be rewarded, in sha Allaah, for upholding the ties of kinship and you will also be rewarded if you are patient and seek reward, and love good for others as you would love it for yourself. 

It is hoped that this one who gave charity and did good will be honoured, rewarded and blessed by Allaah in his wealth, and this will all bring goodness and benefit to you too in sha Allaah. 

We advise you to be patient and seek reward, and to be gentle in asking for what you need, and do not nag your husband for it. We also advise him to treat you and his children kindly, and to give you what you need; he should remember that what he spends on food, drink and clothing for you will bring him reward from Allaah, if he seeks reward for that with Him, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a Muslim spends on his family, seeking reward for that with Allaah, then it will an act of charity on his part.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5351) and Muslim (1002). 

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A dinar that you spend for the sake of Allaah, a dinar that you spend to free a slave, a dinar that you give in charity to a needy person and a dinar that you spend on your family – the greatest of them in reward is the one that you spend on your family.” Narrated by Muslim (995). 

This hadeeth is something that should encourage the husband to spend on his wife and children, because spending on them brings a greater reward than spending on jihad for the sake of Allaah and on the poor. 

We ask Allaah to set your affairs straight and to bless you in your wealth and increase your provision. 

And Allaah knows best.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah's Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

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