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Check character before marriage

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Please help me My husband we are not married yet but he is not close to the religion now and he is gambling I told him to pray if he dont want atleast to read... i say to him he will loose me too if he dont stop he say mashi hadr and next day i see he gamble again. He accuse me that i control him BUT I HAVE NO TRUST in him anymore when he promise next day i see he play again. I found before one picture with bad drawing in the armadio. dark and green is it posible to be something as bad energy to him or what ? This damage me and him too He know is haram and he cant stop.

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Check character before marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


The Messenger of Allah (saws) guided the guardians of the believing woman with the unfailing criteria when seeking a suitor for their daughters and sisters:


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090        Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.'


Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith  7.27         Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."


If one wishes to take advantage of the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws) and chooses to marry a chaste, pious, God-fearing and believing man, one would have made the right decision; and if one wishes to ignore the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws) and chooses to marry an unchaste, or impious, or a non-God-fearing man, it is the decision one has made for oneself; and one has no right to blame anyone but oneself for the quality of ones decisions!


We sincerely advise you Sister, that you have to carefully scrutinize the character of the man before marrying him as it will be useless to cry after getting married. If you are not satisfied with the deen of the man you are going to marry, you will be the greatest loser.


If one has chosen to marry someone who obviously neither fears Allah nor the Last Day, and is thus negligent in fulfilling his obligatory duties towards his Lord should not be too surprised if the person does not fulfill his duties unto his family.for it would be no more than wishful thinking to assume that one who is negligent in fulfilling his obligatory duties unto his Lord Who Created him to fulfill his duties unto His creation!


If your husband to be is not praying and gambling then sister please for your own sake be wise and take the right decision now.


Make supplication (duaa) to Allah swt to guide you aright and InshaAllah He will grant you a better man who will love and cherish you after marriage.


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 186:

And if  My servants ask you,  O Prophet, concerning Me,  tell them that I am quite near to them.   I hear and answer the prayer of the suppliant,  when he calls on Me.  So let them respond to My call and believe in Me.  (Convey this to them),  perhaps they may be guided aright!


Abu Hurairah reported, "The Prophet (saws) said, "Nothing is more dear to Allah than one's supplication to Him.'' 

Narrated by Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah.


Salman reported that the Prophet (saws), said, "Your Lord, the Blessed and the Exalted One, is Modest and Generous, and He loathes to turn away His servant empty-handed when he raises his hands to Him in supplication."

Narrated by Ahmad and Ibn Hibban.


If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,



Members of Islamhelpline


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