Married to revert issues.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Assalam
alykum
I
am married for over 10yrs now. My wife is arevert. since marriage she has been
working as a nurse. Efforts to have her learn deen have not been so successful.
I have I put all I could to help.yet she religiously goes to work leaving
infants in the hands of a house girl. I hoped that she would get
interested to learn even how to read quran. She says she wont stop working. Iam
frustrated as i feel she does not view akhera in the same light as I do.
advice. we have 3 kids now. Though she , alhamdullillah puts hijab on well and
prays five times aday.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Married to revert
issues
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated
by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is
married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and
her religion. So you should marry the
religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."
Respected brother in Islam, the time to thoroughly
investigate and verify the belief and the practice of religion of one’s suitor
in marriage is before one marries the person…..not after ten years of marriage!
If, as you have related, your wife offers her obligatory
prayers and fulfills the other obligatory tenets of the deen of Islam….it is
only obvious that she believes and fears her Lord Creator and the Last Day. If in your opinion she does not view the
‘aakhera’ or Hereafter in the same light as you or as it should be feared, you
should continue your sincere efforts with patience and with wisdom in striving
to bring her closer to fear her Lord and that Tumultuous Day of Judgment. Even if after your very best and sincere
efforts, you find no change in her attitude towards the Hereafter, at least in
the Court and Presence of your Lord on the Day of Judgment you would have
deemed to fulfill your duty unto your wife.
If one truly seeks guidance in one’s marriage, there is no
better recipe for peace, harmony and tranquility in one’s relationship with
one’s spouse in marriage than the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah
Rome verse 21:
21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among
yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put
love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for
those who reflect.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect
Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best
among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best
of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my
family."
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The whole
world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious
woman.’
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing
man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her
characteristics, he will be pleased with another.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358 Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq
The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats
badly those under his authority will not enter
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him)
was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her
husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not
go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of
which he disapproves."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Had it been
permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have
ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 284 Narrated by AbuAli Talq ibn Ali
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘When a man sends
for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she
may be occupied in baking bread.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies
while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister