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My question is that i use to like a girl and i had told about her to my parents. They did not Agree to i.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Asalam Walakum

My question is that i use to like a girl and i had told about her to my parents. They did not Agree to i. I tried to explian them I was working as well as studying my Mcom final year I also told my parents that You just put a word that my son likes your daughter and he wants to marry her. Not know after few years. They did not agree to it also and at that time my wife was getting many proposal for marriage. So i took a step of going ahead and getting married on the Sep.17 2006 without my parents nor any one from my side only few friends from work.After getting my parents aboused me my wife and my IN Laws by saying all dirty things. By the grace of god it is more than 1 year for my marriage and i have got a girl. Even after going ahead and getting married my parents did not accept her nor me.I am currently staying with my In Laws who are really good. even after getting a girl i went and should my kid to my grany but they are not ready to accept her too.

 

By profession I am an Accountant at the moment I dont know even though i have a job but i am not satisfied my only intension in life is to walk on the way of allah and try to get these 2 families together as soon as possible.

 

I need your help desperately. I am not in a proper state of mind but I always think what will happen next but my main intension in life is to get these 2 families togehter and tie them in a bond of love forever.To send my Parents for haj.


please help me as soon as possible.

waiting for your reply.

Allahfis 

 

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Answer:

 

Married without parents consent

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Dear and beloved brother in Islam, one cannot over-emphasize the importance and significance of serving and being dutiful to ones parents in Islam Second only to the heinous and the ultimate abomination of shirk in the Sight of Allah is for an off-spring to be undutiful to ones parents!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say uff to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.


 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:

14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 36:

36 Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him: and do good to parents kinsfolk orphans those in need neighbors who are near neighbors who are strangers the companion by your side the way-farer (ye meet) and what your right hands possess: for Allah loveth not the arrogant the vainglorious;

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5120 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah

I asked: O Messenger of Allah(saws)! To whom should I show kindness most? He (saws) replied: Your mother. I asked (again): Who next?. He (saws) replied: Your mother!. I asked: Who next? He (saws) replied: Your mother! I asked again: Who next? and he (saws) replied: Your father, and then your relatives in order of relationship.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4939 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Jahimah

Jahimah came to the Prophet (saws) and said, "Messenger of Allah (saws), I desire to go on a military expedition and I have come to consult you. He (saws) asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied that he had, he (saws) said, "Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.18 Narrated by Aisha

The Prophet (saws) said: "The word 'Ar-Rahm' (womb) derives its name from 'Ar-Rahman' (i.e. Allah). So whosoever keeps good relations with it (womb i.e. kith and kin), Allah will keep good relations with him, and whosoever will sever it (i.e. severs his bonds of kith and kin) Allah too will sever His relations with him!"

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the Kabair (the absolute gravest sins in the Sight of Allah). He (saws) replied: "They are:--

To join others in worship with Allah,

To be undutiful to one's parents,

To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murder),

And to give a false witness."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.290 Narrated by Abu Bakra

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the Great Sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (saws)!" He (saws) said, "To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents."

 

Respected brother, if in your past you have done something to ignite the wrath and anger of your parents.and believe you me, marrying a woman against their will is a big something!....if you have done something in the past to ignite the wrath and anger of your parents, you should now do whatever it takes to pacify their anger, and with ultimate humility, and kindness, and tenderness, and above all patience you should approach them and seek their sincere forgiveness and understanding, if indeed you believe in Allah and the Last Day, and wish to have any chance of gaining entry into the eternal Gardens of Paradise in the Hereafter!

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3655 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There are three people to whom Allah has forbidden Paradise: one who is addicted to wine, an undutiful son, and a cuckold who agrees to his womenfolk's adultery."

 

Thus brother, if you have approached them once, and the pain and the anger and the dishonor that you have brought upon them caused them to rebuke and revile you.with utter and absolute humility and kindness and tenderness, approach them again, and again, and again, and again.keep on approaching them until you get their forgiveness. If the intense pain and the anger your act has caused them instigate them to abuse and revile you, accept whatever they say and whatever they do with utter and absolute patience. Even after a lifetime of approaching them and seeking their forgiveness, if they chose not to forgive you, it does not matter.for then at least you have an excuse in the Presence of your Lord that you strove your absolute utmost in seeking their forgiveness. Maybe, just maybe, Allah Subhanah might turn towards you in Mercy and accept your repentance.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 


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