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My age is 25 years. I had a girl friend eight years before. Still she is my girl friend. But now we want to marry.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother,

I am writing you after having so many hopes with you. I am not understanding that how I solve my problem. So please must help me.

My age is 25 years. I had a girl friend eight years before. Still she is my girl friend. But now we want to marry. I never do any type of sex with her because we want to marry. Her cast is different than me. I talked to my parents so that my parents meet her parents for marriage. But my all family refused. My family is saying that they will not give me permission for love marriage. 2ndly they are not from our same cast. So they shout on me to forget her. But we love each other. We can not forget.

I read one Hadith that if boy and girl like each other, so you arrange marriage for them. I never listen or read in Islam that if the cast of girl is different than boy, they can not marry.

Now when ever I try to talk my family about this matter they always start shouting on me. Our Wali are alive so we can not marry without telling our parents. Please tell me that what I do. If we marry without telling our parents, will it be right Nikkah? Plz tell me that what we do now. Girl is agreeing to marry with me. But her parents will not accept me with out my family. I do not understand that what I do. Please help me. I am too much worry.


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Parents refusal to marry

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verse 54:

54 It is He Who has created man from water: then has He established relationships through blood and (through) marriage: for thy Lord has Power (over all things).


Islam guides that a marriage is not merely a union of two people who love each other, but rather a sacred union that unites two whole families.thus if one is faced with a situation whereby their son is so in love with an eligible girl (believer, chaste, etc.) and the parents of the boy are satisfied with the character and the practice of religion of the girl..they should accede with the choice and request of their son.


Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."


Although the consent of the boys parents is not an obligatory condition of a marriage in Islam, it would only be piety and righteousness on the part of the son to make sure that he has the approval and consent of his parents before he marries the girl. If for any reason one finds that their parents are just not willing to consent to their choice, it would be better to marry another girl whom the boy and the parents both approve of.for marriage is but a Sunnah (voluntary), but to obey ones parents is Fard-ayn or absolutely obligatory upon every believer who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day.


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated byAbu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws) what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise and your Hell!"


Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the Grave Sins, and He (saws) replied, "They are:--

(1 ) To join others in worship with Allah,

(2) To be undutiful to one's parents,

(3) To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill)

(4) And to give a false witness."


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda

When a man came to him and said, "I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce," he replied to him that he had heard Allah's Messenger (saws) say, "A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,





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