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My parents have no issue to this marriage,,on the guy`s father has objections...

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalam o Alaikum! Sir, i badly need ur guidance as soon as in deep trouble. I`ve been in love with a guy for the past 5 years. we met online..we have never seen each other,i mean we never met,we haven`t even seen each others pictures, as i strictly follow Islamic rules relating Hijab.we have a very innocent kind of relation,we just share our problems n happiness with each other,we never talk dirty or about sex..we never ever discuss such things.. My father is not alive,n i told my mother n sisters about it all 4 n half years ago.The guy was studying at that time,n we decided not to see or meet until we got married.when he got a very good job in a multinational company last year,he told his parents about me n convinced them to meet me n my family.Everything was going smoothly, n they came to our house n my family went to theirs n they met the guy..everyone really liked him n praised him alot,as he is a very good,decent n educated person,plus a very good Muslim. His mother n sister liked me as well,as i belong to a noble family,n im educated n considered to be the most beautiful girl of my area... but when our families were about to fix our wedding date, n discuss our Mehr,his father refused to get us married at once. The reason is that we dont speak the same language.Although we are of the same Caste, i and many people of my family can speak their language.My father used to speak that too.we have the same ancestors. but now his father is not agreeing to our marriage.The guy has tried his best to convince him,he even went on a hunger strike,but his father does not understands our feelings and he is always like..."i dont like those people who speak different language,i dont like their area.Go n get married to her on your own if u cant leave her". Sir now my question is that,can we get married seretly,by fulfilling all other conditions of a Nikah,but without his or my parents` approval?we have net ever tried to meet,while living in the same city.we dont intend to have a physical relationship even after nikah..but we just want to be secure.we just want to be each others in Allah eyes.we want to talk to each other on phone without feeling guilty.we cnt marry anyone else sir! its pure love without any trace of physical attraction or lust.we have been waiting for 5 years,n can wait for 5 more,his father will understand our feelings one day,n he will agree to our marriage...but i feel so guilty even for having this relationship with him.we want to get rid of this guilt n perform Nikah.. My parents have no issue to this marriage,,on the guy`s father has objections...Plz tell us what to do?should we wait for another 5 years without Nikah??or should we go for Nikah n wait peacely???.JazzakAllah Khayr.. 


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Father refusal to marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verse 54:

54 It is He Who has created man from water: then has He established relationships through blood and (through) marriage: for thy Lord has Power (over all things).


Islam guides that a marriage is not merely a union of two people who love each other, but rather a sacred union that unites two whole families.thus if one is faced with a situation whereby their son is so in love with an eligible girl (believer, chaste, etc.) and the parents of the boy are satisfied with the character and the practice of religion of the girl..they should accede with the choice and request of their son.


Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."


Although the consent of the boys parents is not an obligatory condition of a marriage in Islam, it would only be piety and righteousness on the part of the son to make sure that he has the approval and consent of his parents before he marries the girl. If for any reason one finds that their parents are just not willing to consent to their choice, it would be better to marry another girl whom the boy and the parents both approve of.


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated byAbu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws) what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise and your Hell!"


Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the Grave Sins, and He (saws) replied, "They are:--

(1 ) To join others in worship with Allah,

(2) To be undutiful to one's parents,

(3) To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill)

(4) And to give a false witness."


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda

When a man came to him and said, "I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce," he replied to him that he had heard Allah's Messenger (saws) say, "A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,






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