The only thing disturbing me is , after marriage inshallah if my wife does something tht i feel is not right as per islam.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
i have a problem and i think your suggestion will really help me out to change the way i am thinking.. Well i am a Practicing muslim alhamdulilah i spot a beared and i am trying my best to follow the Quran and sunnah the right.. I am 24 yrs old and there is a girl whom i fell love with when i was in my jahiliya but after i changed and turned back to allah we are just good friends and i wish to marry her i spoke to my parents about it i do not have any illicit relation with her.. She is a muslim and doesn not do any kind of shirk she knows a lot about islam she use to also wear a hijab 5 yrs back but something bad happened in her life and she totally changed she is not very pious she prays but its never on time ,she does not wear the hijab she is really modern.. But i still wish to marry her with an intention tht may be being with me she might change or may be one day allah will guide her..
The only thing disturbing me is , after marriage inshallah if my wife does something tht i feel is not right as per islam and i stop her by advising her and suggesting her and if she still does it will it be a sin on me also.. i dont believe in forcing things or imposing things unless and untill she realises it but from my side i can still keep correcting her by advising her.. I read this verse from the Quran where it says Allah will account us for our own deeds.. i would like to know will i be accounted for my wifes deeds and will it be permissble for me to marry this girl. i have been trying to advice this girl by giving her islamic books and trying to explaining her things but she just says tht every1 has their own way of thinking and they have thier own personality and ppl have their own perception in life..
brother please advice me how to handle this phase wht i am going through and how do i treat this girl cos the more i tell her the more far she will go away from the deen..
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Marry non practising muslim
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: will it be permissble for me to marry this girl.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:
(Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity not lewdness nor secret intrigues.
Respected brother in Islam, as long as the girl is a non-mehram unto you, and a muslim (or a Jew or a Christian), and you fulfill all the obligatory conditions of an Islamic nikaah..the marriage itself will be considered legal and lawful in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah.
Your Question: she is not very pious she prays but its never on time ,she does not wear the hijab she is really modern.. But i still wish to marry her with an intention tht may be being with me she might change or may be one day allah will guide her..
Beloved brother in Islam, we reiterate again, that provided the girl is a non-mehram, and a muslim, and you fulfill all the obligatory conditions of an Islamic nikaahthe marriage itself will be lawful.
Regarding which amongst the lawful women a beleiver should seek or strive to marry, this is the advice given by the Messenger of Allah (saws):
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."
Beloved brother, it is indeed possible that although the woman you seek to marry is not a practicing believer now and after marriage she might change her attitude towards the obedience of her Lord Creator..but it is also equally possible that she might not change her attitude towards obedience, and you might put yourself and your practice of religion unto a severe trial. If you are willing to put yourself in this severe trial, you are well within your right to do so.
As your humble brothers and well-wishers in faith we only wish to inform you that if one denies or does not follow the obligatory commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), they will obviously be ruined in this world and Hereafterbut Allah is our witness brother, if one chooses not to follow even the advice or recommendations of Allah and His Messenger (saws), we assure you that they will be amongst the losers!
Your Question: I read this verse from the Quran where it says Allah will account us for our own deeds
Allah Says in the Glorious Quran Chapter 53 Surah Najm verse 38:
38 No bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another;
Allah Says in the Glorious Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 15:
15 Who receives guidance receives it for his own benefit: whoever (chooses to) go astray does so to his own loss: no bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another:
Allah Says in the Glorious Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 164:
Every soul draws the meed of its acts on none but itself: no bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another. Your goal in the end is toward Allah: He will tell you the Truth of the things wherein ye disputed.
Your Question:.. i would like to know will i be accounted for my wifes deeds
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.733 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar
That he heard Allah's Messenger (saws) saying, "Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for those under his charge; the ruler is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects; the man is a guardian in his family and responsible for his charges; a woman is a guardian of her husband's house and responsible for her charges; and the servant is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for his charge; so everyone of you is a guardian and responsible for those under his charges."
Dear and beloved brother in Islam, as much as each person is accountable for their own deeds, the Messenger of Allah (saws) said that each and every human being is a guardian and will be responsible for and accountable in the Court of Allah Subhanah for those under his wards.
A man is the guardian of his family and will indeed be held responsible for those under his charges (his wife, his children, etc.)thus if Allah forbid, if one under your charge openly disobeys the Commands of Allah Subhanah and you do absolutely nothing about it.you will indeed be asked about it in the Presence of your Lord Most High Most Supreme on that Inevitable Day of Judgment.
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,