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A pakistani friend of my, age 25 is studying at a university and is friends with a Afghani boy, 27 years old.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

As-salaam-alaikum.

First of all, I would like to thank you to give us an opportunity to clarify our doubts. I request, you to not mention my name as this is specially for a friend and I would not like to disclose this matter.

A pakistani friend of my, age 25 is studying at a university and is friends with a Afghani boy, 27 years old. While being friends they have developed a good relation and want to get married. However, the Afghani boy has a wife and 2 kids in Afghanistan. He was studying alone in Russia first and then he was employed by US armed forces in Afghanistan. That time he was 17 years old. He liked a girl and convinced his family and then approached her for marriage. However at marriage he found that he had been cheated and it was not the same girl he liked. However, to late to make a decision, he got married. He stayed with family for sometime and has two sons age 7 and 5. He then left Afghanistan to study in America. He says that he hardly ever talks to his wife though he`s in touch with his kids.

Is this allowed in Islam. My friend is confused because he already has a wife and kids who he would need to leave before getting married. However the boy also says that he would divorce his wife, regardless of the fact whether my friend marries him or not. My friend has known him for over 10 months now and we don`t have any way to verify what he says, except trust him.

Could you kindly help me with this. Also what sort of duties are there for both the girl and guy in this matter. Is this allowed in Islam. Can they get married. Whats needs to be done next. I can give you more detail if you would like. I read the Istikhara note from you and was forwarding to my friend to perform it. But it mentions that you only ask for Allahs guidance if what you are sking for is allowed. hence I thought to ask you to help me in this matter.

Thanks & Regards. 

 

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Answer:

 

Second marriage for edit

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


 

Your Question: ..He says that he hardly ever talks to his wife though he`s in touch with his kids.
Absolutely regardless of the reasons he chose to marry the woman, as long as he is married to her, he is duty bound in Shariah, if indeed he fears Allah and the Last Day, to fulfill all his duties, responsibilities, and rights that are due unto his wife.

 

If he does not like the woman he chose and agreed to marry, he is well within his rights to free her from the sacred bond of marriage through divorce; but as long as he is married to her, he is duty bound and responsible to give her all her rights in marriage. If Allah forbid, the person does not fulfill his responsibilities, and unjustly usurps the lawful rights of his wife in marriage, he will be held severely accountable in the Court of Allah Subhanah for his oppression and his injustice towards his lawfully wedded wife.

 

Your Question: .However the boy also says that he would divorce his wife, regardless of the fact whether my friend marries him or not.

That is a decision which the man has to make himself; but your friend should fear Allah her Lord, and in absolutely no way ask, request, demand, or even imply or make it a condition that the man she wishes to marry should or must divorce his first wife.that indeed would be a grave sin your friend would take upon herself.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.598 Narrated by Abu Huraira

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "No woman should ask for the divorce of her sister (Muslim) so as to take her place, but she should marry the man (without compelling him to divorce his other wife), for she will have nothing but what Allah has written for her."

 

Your Question: .My friend has known him for over 10 months now and we don`t have any way to verify what he says, except trust him.
Dear and beloved Sister, the sacred bond marriage in Islam is not a game, or a past-time, or sport, or play.but it is a serious and lifelong commitment which two believers make under the guidance of Allah Subhanah!

 

As much as one may trust someone, when it comes to marriage, it would only be prudent and wise to thoroughly check and confirm the important information supplied by the suitor so that no surprises turn up after one has agreed to the marriage! That is precisely why Allah Subhanah has Guided and Commanded the believers that the approval and consent of the parents/guardians of the bride be sought before a marriage, because they being the absolute well-wishers of the bride will ask the necessary questions and verify all the information provided before they agree to give the hand of their beloved daughter to someone in marriage.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3137 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A woman may not give a woman in marriage, nor may she give herself in marriage, for verily it is the immoral woman who gives herself in marriage!"

 

Your Question: Also what sort of duties are there for both the girl and guy in this matter. Is this allowed in Islam. Can they get married. Whats needs to be done next.

First and foremost, it is the duty of both, the man as well as the woman, to fear Allah their Lord and stay within the prescribed boundaries of their Lord.

 

It is entirely upto the man to decide whether he wishes to honor his first marriage, or divorce his wife. If he so wishes and decides to divorce his first wife and marry your friend, that is permissible; and if he so wishes and decides to honor his first marriage and seek to honorably marry your friend as his second wife, provided he does justice between his wives, there is allowance for a believer in Shariah to marry and keep upto a maximum of four wives at any one time.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 

 


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