But the problem is, January is 38 years old now and having a settled life with wife and kids.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I am a 19 year old and a divorcee. I got married at the age of 17 to a 31 year-old. However the marrage didnt work out and we have been divorced for the past year. I am 19 years old now.
I started working in a govt.authority and there I met this person whom I will address as "January". We took a liking for each other and disclosed it as well. We promised to marry each other after an year since the burden of responsiblity was very high. But the problem is, January is 38 years old now and having a settled life with wife and kids. I am and was aware of this earlier as well. But still we love each other, the relationship between us is so intense that I purposely made myself to forget all this.
And because of me, now he is very disturbed at home, doesnt concentrate much on his family which is causing trouble for him. What can be done because his wife is constantly pushing him to ask me to resign, his brothers also working with us started hating me. Should I go away from his life or is it ok like this?
One more thing I left my family and my mother and everyone behind because there were reasons, my marriage broke bcoz of them. At that time when no one was there for me, January helped me a lot, emotionally.
Kind request to give me some solution for this as I am getting mentally stressed out by the constant pressure.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Love married man
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: One more thing I left my family and my mother and everyone behind because there were reasons, my marriage broke bcoz of them.
Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, as your brothers and sincere well-wishers in faith it is our duty to inform and warn you against the breaking of blood-ties and relationships which Allah Subhanah has Himself made for mankind..
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 6 (part):
Blood-relations amongst each other have closer personal ties in the Decree of Allah.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 13 Surah Ar-Raad verse 25:
As for those who break their covenant with Allah after confirming it, who cut asunder relationships which Allah has bidden to be joined, and spread chaos on the earth, theirs shall be the curse, and they shall have a wretched abode in the Hereafter.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Bakarah verse 27:
And He leads astray only those who disobey Allah, who break Allahs covenant after ratifying it, who cut asunder relationships what Allah has ordered to be joined, and who produce chaos on the Earth. These are indeed the people who are the losers.
Allah Subhanah has given no one the right to break or sever the blood relations which the Lord Himself has created for mankind..absolutely regardless of whatever might have transpired in the past, or whatever one fears might happen in the future..it would be absolutely unlawful, illegal and a grave sin in the Sight of the Lord for one to break relations with their own blood-relatives!
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.17 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws) said, "The word 'Ar-Rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one of the names of Allah) and Allah said: 'I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin), and sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin).
Your Question: ..Should I go away from his life or is it ok like this?
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:
5 (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time, when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity, not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).
To develop or maintain a secret or illicit relationship between two non-mehram members of the opposite sex is absolutely forbidden in Shariah and a grave sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chatper 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3:
3 If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice.
Islam has permitted and given the option to the believers who wish to marry more than one wife to do so, provided they are able to do justice amongst their wives.thus the person whom you wish to marry is well within his rights to marry you, if indeed he wishes to do so.
What you cannot and should never do is demand or make it a condition of your marriage to the person is that he divorce his first wife to marry you.that would indeed be a sin upon you in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.598 Narrated by Abu Huraira
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "No woman should ask for the divorce of her sister (Muslim) so as to take her place, but she should marry the man (without compelling him to divorce his other wife), for she will have nothing but what Allah has written for her."
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,