I am 25 years old guy and i am in love with a women of 31years old (6 years older than me) and she is also having a young daughter of 14years old.she is divorced and live with her daughter in her own house.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I am 25 years old guy and i am in love with a women of 31years old (6 years older than me) and she is also having a young daughter of 14years old.she is divorced and live with her daughter in her own house,i met her few months ago and i have been talking to her and going out with her.few weeks back she came to my house and i cant control my self and i took her to bed and i didnt do intercourse with her but asked her for a blow job and i also sucked her vaginal part (sucking that part down.....).after the next day i thaught that wht i did was wrong,i dont understand what to do as i am very confused and ashamed to write it to you.
please reply me asap.
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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:
Do not even go near zina (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4886 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
That he heard the Messenger of Allah (saws) say: The eye commits zina, and the palm of the hand, the foot, the body, the tongue and private part of the body confirm it or deny it.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.260 Narrated by Ibn Abbas
I have not seen a thing resembling 'lamam' (minor sins) than what Abu Huraira narrated from the Prophet (saws) who said "Allah has written for the children of Adan their share of zina which he commits inevitably. The zina of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the zina of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it."
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 36 Surah Ya-Seen verse 65:
65 That Day shall We set a seal on their mouths. But their hands will speak to Us and their feet bear witness to all that they did.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 41 Surah Ha-Meem verses 19-23:
19 On the Day that the enemies of Allah will be gathered together to the Fire they will be marched in ranks.
20 At length when they reach the (Fire) their hearing, their sight, and their skins will bear witness against them as to (all) their deeds.
21 They will say to their skins: "Why bear ye witness against us?" They (their skins) will say: "Allah hath given us speech, (He) Who giveth speech to everything: He created you for the first time and unto Him were ye to return.
22 "Ye did not seek to hide yourselves lest your hearing, your sight, and your skins should bear witness against you! But ye did think that Allah knew not many of the things that ye used to do!
23 "But this thought of yours which ye did entertain concerning your Lord hath brought you to destruction, and (now) have ye become of those utterly lost!"
Although in legal terminology zina would constitute the actual penetration of the male organ into the female organ out of wedlock, the Messenger of Allah (saws) warned the believers regarding the minor zina of the eyes, hands, legs, etc. Not only is the evil act of zina prescribed as absolutely forbidden in Islam, every path or every way that leads one to this evil path is also declared as forbidden! Such is the gravity of this abomination of zina, that Allah Subhanah commands the believers in the Quran: Do not even go near zina!!!
Thus if one intentionally sees and watches fahisha (indecency), it would constitute zina of the eyes; if one derives pleasure from talks of fahisha, it would constitute zina of the ears and mouth, if one touches or goes towards something or someone with the intention of fahisha, it would constitute zina of the hands and the legs! Although there is no prescribed punishment for the zina of the eyes, mouth, ears, hands and feet in the life of this world, if one dies without seeking taubah and repentance from their Lord, he will be held severely accountable for these acts of minor zina in the Presence of their Majestic Lord in the Hereafter.
Your Question: after
the next day i thaught that wht i did was wrong,i dont understand what to do as
i am very confused and ashamed to write it to you.
Whatever deeds one might have done, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: Shirk!
The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:
- One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
- Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin again.
- Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment of death.
- Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: O My servants who have wronged their own souls.Do not despair of Allahs Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:
The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, Peace to you; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death."
Your Question: ..i dont understand what to do as i am very confused
The state of shame and anxiety that you have felt after your unlawful sexual association with a non-mehram woman is evidence to the fact that faith and emaan and the fear of Allah and His Day of Accounting are alive in your heart. Thus brother, first and foremost, you should immediately turn unto your Lord Most Gracious in taubah and seek His sincere forgiveness for your manifest transgression..if you are indeed sincere in your repentance, it is expected that you will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:
5 . (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity, not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).
If you sincerely love the sister, honor her by marrying her; and if for any reason you choose or decide not to marry her, absolutely and immediately disassociate yourself from her.but under absolutely no situation develop any kind or type of bond or relationship with her or any other non-mehram woman out of marriage, for that then would be a manifest transgression and a grave sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,