Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

i got divorce, last year, when this proposal had come we got a istekaea done by a moulana n he said the guy is very good, and we must go ahead, but soon after marrige he proved to be a monster, now i have another proposal where i like the guy but when we got the istekara done it comes negetive, so i decided to did by my self, i was quite satisfied, i am very confused should i go ahead with this wedding. 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Istikhara for others moulvi

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

It is preferred that in almost all circumstances, the Sunnah prayer and supplication of ‘istakhara’ should be done by the person themselves. In some cases, it is permitted that a close guardian or relative do the ‘istakhara’ for someone under their care. For example, a parent may do ‘istakhara’ for their child when they are confronted with option to determine what is best for their child; like which school to attend, which girl to marry, etc.

But in general circumstances, it is preferred that the person themselves should do the ‘istakhara’ for themselves.

The supposed ‘moulana’ who do ‘istakhara’ for others and gives them a reply are no more than conmen and shams and fakes and are not to be believed in the least! Such unscrupulous and ignorant ‘moulanas’ make an absolute mockery of the beautiful Sunnah of ‘istakhara’, and their response or views have absolutely no basis to the Truth or reality.

Your Question: …..so i decided to did by my self, i was quite satisfied, i am very confused should i go ahead with this wedding. 

Hadrat Jabir (r.a.) reports that ‘the Prophet (saws) would teach us al-Istikharah for all of our affairs as he would teach us a Surah of the Qu'ran. He (saws) said 'if one of you is deliberating over an act, he should pray two rak'ahs and recite the supplication of Istakhara.’’

Related by Al-Bukhari.

Saad ibn Waqas (r.a.) reported that the Prophet (saws) said, "Istikharah (seeking guidance from Allah) is one of the distinct favors (of Allah) upon man, and a good fortune for the son of Adam is to be pleased with the Judgment of Allah. And a misfortune of the son of Adam is his failure to make istikharah, and a misfortune for the son of Adam is his displeasure with the Judgment of Allah."

The meaning of the term ‘Istikhara’ in Islamic Jurisprudence means for a slave of Allah to ask His All-Knowing All-Wise Lord to guide him to the right thing concerning any affair in one’s life, especially when one has to choose between two (or more) permissible and lawful alternatives. The Messenger of Allah (saws), whenever he had to make a decision between two lawful options would perform the Istikhara seeking the guidance of his Lord, and he highly encouraged the believers to do the same in all their affairs; thus seeking the guidance of the All-Knowing, All-Wise Lord is a preferred and highly encouraged Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws).

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption.'

Dear and beloved Sister, if you/your guardians are satisfied with the character and the practice of Islam of the believer whose proposal you have received, and after performing the Sunnah of ‘Istakhara’ your heart is satisfied…..you should keep your full trust and belief in Allah, and go ahead and accept the proposal of the brother.

If you have performed the Sunnah of ‘Istakhara’ and consulted with your Lord Most Gracious to guide you to the best decision, and you find that the matter from the stage of proposal reaches the marriage stage, and everything goes smoothly, know with absolute conviction that Allah Subhanah is Pleased with the decision. Had the acceptance of the proposal and marriage to this brother not been good for you in the life of this world and the next, and you had consulted your Lord by performing the Sunnah of ‘Istakhara’ prior to making your decision, know with absolute conviction that your All-Knowing All-Wise Lord would never have allowed the matter to reach the stage of marriage; for that is precisely what a believer requests their Lord Most Merciful in the beautiful and powerful Sunnah of ‘Istakhara’……

‘O Allah! I seek Your guidance (in making a choice) by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things.
O Allah! If in Your knowledge, (this matter) is good for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs; immediate and in the distant, then ordain for me, make it easy for me and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge, (this matter) is bad for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs; immediate and
in the distant, then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it. And ordain for me the good wherever it be and make me pleased with it.’

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, this beautiful Sunnah of ‘istakhara’ relieves the believers of the confusions and doubts they might have when making an important and crucial decision. Once one has performed the Sunnah of ‘Istakhara’, they should keep their full trust and belief in Allah Subhanah Alone, and leave the Decision in the Able Hands of their All-Knowing, All-Wise Lord. If the matter comes to its desired conclusion smoothly, then one should rest absolutely assured that that is the absolute best decision made on that particular matter. But if one finds that no matter how much they try, the matter is just not reaching its desired conclusion, or one finds that one obstacle after another keeps propping up which stops the matter from reaching its desired conclusion, then one should take that as a sign that that decision of theirs is not acceptable to Allah Subhanah and one should immediately distance themselves away from it.

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan