Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Please let me know the meaning of tilth in regards to the relationship of husband and wife. Also, can a wife ask her husband to fulfull her desires when he is not a mood to do so? Is there a sin on her if she makes the first move? Jazak allah khair for your work brother.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Can wife invite husband for sex

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: Please let me know the meaning of tilth in regards to the relationship of husband and wife.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 223:

223 Your wives are as a ‘harth’ (tilth) unto you; so approach your ‘harth’ (tilth) when or how ye will.

The literal meaning of the Arabic term ‘harth’ is a cultivation or farm-land; and the above parable of the ‘tilth’ for a wife connotes that the relation between a husband and a wife should be as beneficial and as close as a relation enjoyed between a farmer and his farm-land. As much as a good farmer respects, and cherishes, and protects and enjoys his farm-land, so should a husband respect, and cherish, and protect, and enjoy the company of his wife; and just as farmer is pleased that his land produces a good yield, so should a husband too be pleased and strive to generate many an off-spring from the martial relationship with his wife.

Your Question: Also, can a wife ask her husband to fulfull her desires when he is not a mood to do so?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 228 (part):

And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them (in a marriage) according to what is equitable.

Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: ‘The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife."’ The companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."

Related by Ahmad and Muslim.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.460 Narrated by Abu Huraira

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the Angels will curse her till morning."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3257 Narrated by Talq ibn Ali

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a man calls his wife to satisfy his desire she must go to him even if she is occupied at the oven!"

Just as Islam guides that it is a sin for a woman to refuse the invitation of her husband for sexual intercourse, the absolute majority of the scholars and jurists in Islam are of the opinion that if a husband were to refuse the invitation of his wife without an absolutely valid and genuine reason, it would be a sin in the Sight of the Lord.

Your Question: Is there a sin on her if she makes the first move?

The wife in Islam is well within her rights to invite her husband, and initiate the first moves to enjoy conjugal relations with her husband, if she wishes to do so; and it is the duty of the husband to respond positively to the invitation of his wife. If the husband refuses the invitation of his wife without an absolutely valid reason, he would indeed take a sin upon himself for denying a lawful right of his wife.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan