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My home environment is not islamic , just a common muslim family. I practise Quran & sahi hadees although my family is hanafi.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I strive my best 2 follow islam totally. My home environment is not islamic , just a common muslim family. I practise Quran & sahi hadees although my family is hanafi. I want 2 marry a Very pious muslimah whom i have been in contact thru e mail & some times talk on phone- but have never met. I have seen in front of her father at her home.She too is practising sahi hadees although her family is hanafi.She practise her best all islamic practise.My parents want me 2 marry girl of their choice & not of my choice, In their way of marriage according 2 social custom i.e with big function, dowry etc. II m totally agaisnt all these. They dont agree for my marriage with her although she is very pious. My parents want me 2 marry only on their choice. I have given commitment 2 her parents , so they r fully dependent on me. What should i do?


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Parents refusal to marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."


Dear and beloved brother in Islam, if you can convince your parents to approve and give their consent, then indeed marry the girl of your choice; but if you are unable to obtain the consent of your parents to marry that particular girl, marry another girl whom both you and your parents approve ofbut whatever the case, do not disobey your parents, for marriage is but a voluntary act in Islam, but to obey the lawful commands of ones parents is an absolutely obligatory duty of every believer who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day.


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say uff to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated byAbu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws) what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise and your Hell!"


Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the Grave Sins, and He (saws) replied, "They are:--

(1 ) To join others in worship with Allah,

(2) To be undutiful to one's parents,

(3) To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill)

(4) And to give a false witness."


Second only to the absolute gravest sin and abomination of shirk (associating others with Allah Subhanah) in gravity of sins in the Sight of Allah Subhanah is the disobedience to ones parents!


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda

When a man came to him and said, "I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce," he replied to him that he had heard Allah's Messenger (saws) say, "A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."


If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,




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