Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalaamoalaikum Wa Rahmatullahe Wa Barakaatuhu,

Brother I am a 30 year old girl. Alhamdolillah i have been following Islam with all my love or Allah. One of my colleage was so much impressed with the way i follow Islam, that he also accepted Islam (earlier he was a Christian) and has started learning much about the religion. But unfortunately, his wife, his two children, his other family members have rejected this and wanted him to convert back to Christian way of living. But my colleague was firm on his faith, and doesnt want to leave Islam. He has been trying for more than one year to try convince his wife about the religion, but all in vain. Also he holds a CEO position in an organisation due to which he know he will be condemned by many people for having covnerted like this. Moreover his family and others in our office have started alleging that he converted because he had a affair with me. He knew that if he does not take any firm action, he will be forced by the society to leave Islam. There was no one who would help him in this case. So he sought my help. Looking at his strong faith, i have married him, but the nikaah was done in a masjid away from our place of residence. Though there were witnesses present from the masjid, but my parents were not present. If my parents know this they will never allow me to be with this man. No body will understand his love for Islam. We have decided to fulfill all our obligations towards our families, make them financially stable, and then move out of our homes to lead an Islamic life. We shall not carry a single cent for ourselves. My colleage is leaving his king like life to walk on the path Allah and his Prophet (PBUH) has shown for His Ummah. Allah knows all and shall take care of our needs. We look forward to leading a complete Islamic life and i shall shall be the most fortunate women on this earth to have a chance to help mu husband lead an islamic life. We shall inform our families about Nikaah after we move out, or else there will be chaos, and we dont want to trouble anybody.

In this case i want to ask whether my marriage with him invalid ? If yes, then what is the way to make it valid in the eyes of Allah ? (Please note that at this juncture, declaring that we have married would cost us even our family member`s lives. we are concerned that they may take any drastic step to separate us. And neither me nor my colleague will want this to happen as it will defeat his faith in Islam.)

Please help us adopt the Hallah path as shown by Allah Subhaana-Wa-Ta-Aala and His Rasool (PBUH).

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Secret marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:

5 …. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity, not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).

Beloved Sister, the guidance of Islam Commands and Demands that the believers marry desiring chastity, not lewdness and secret intrigues! It is only those who are inclined towards the heinous and abomination of the evil of ‘zina’ who develop lewd and secret intrigues; for the sacred institution of marriage in Islam is a public affair whereby one is guided and commanded to openly declare one’s sacred association of marriage to the society one lives in by offering the ‘walima’ or marriage banquet or feast.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.395 Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) seeing a yellow mark (of perfume) on the clothes of 'Abdur-Rahman bin 'Auf, said, "What about you?" 'Abdur-Rahman replied, "I have married a woman with a Mahr of gold equal to a date-stone." The Prophet (saws) said, "May Allah bestow His Blessing on you (in your marriage). Give a wedding banquet, (Walima) even with one sheep."

Your Question: In this case i want to ask whether my marriage with him invalid ?

Respected Sister in Islam, in the case which you have described, whereby two people have gone to a distant ‘masjid’, appointed two witnesses, and married in secret without informing their loved ones or their society would definitely not be piety and righteousness in the Sight of Allah.

Because one has taken all the steps to fulfill the minimum requirements of the Shariah Law related to marriage, their marriage would be legal in the Sight of Law….but in the Sight of Allah Subhanah, to apply His Laws to develop or legalize a ‘secret’ marriage would be to make a mockery of the Laws and Guidance of Allah Subhanah!

One should fear Allah and their Day of Accounting in His Majestic Presence, and abstain from doing anything which is against both, the letter and the spirit of the Laws and Guidance of Allah Subhanah!

Your Question: If yes, then what is the way to make it valid in the eyes of Allah ?

First and foremost, if indeed one fears Allah and the Last Day, one should immediately turn back unto their Lord in sincere repentance and seek forgiveness from Him for trying to make a mockery of His Laws and His Guidance….it is expected that they will find their Lord Forgiving and Merciful.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

Dear and beloved Sister, the one and only way to make this union legal, lawful, and acceptable in the Sight of Allah Subhanah is to publicly announce their sacred institution of marriage to the society one lives in.

Your Question: (Please note that at this juncture, declaring that we have married would cost us even our family member`s lives. we are concerned that they may take any drastic step to separate us. And neither me nor my colleague will want this to happen as it will defeat his faith in Islam.)

Beloved Sister in Islam, if you indeed fear that your marriage to this brother would cost you the life of your family member, or that they may take drastic steps to separate you from the person you are married to, or that the repercussions the marriage might bring about may diminish or defeat his faith in Islam….then indeed you have the option of abstaining from marrying such a person and saving yourself, your husband-to-be, and the family members from the impending supposed trial.

But to marry the person secretly is not a lawful option; for lets say that even if for the rest of your lives you manage to keep your marriage secret from the family members of both sides….this unlawful union might earn you the Wrath and Anger and the Punishment of Allah Subhanah on that Inevitable and Tumultuous Day of Judgment!

Thus Sister, the only lawful options available to you are:

1. Marry the person of your choice lawfully in the Sight of Allah Subhanah, and bear patiently the trials your family and loved ones may or may not bring upon you.
2. Abstain from marrying the person, and save yourself, your husband-to-be, and the family members of both sides from the anticipated distress and trials.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 79 Surah Naziat verses 34-41:

34 Therefore when there comes the Great Overwhelming (The Day of Judgment)

35 The Day when Man shall remember (all) that he strove for

36 And Hell-Fire shall be placed in full view for (all) to see

37 Then for such as had transgressed all bounds

38 And had preferred the life of this world

39 Their abode will be Hell-Fire;

40 And for such as had entertained the fear of standing before their Lord's (Tribunal), and had restrained (their) soul from ‘lower desires’

41 Their abode will be the Garden.

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan