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I`ve been having a lot of problem with my marriage lately. From past month or so, i dont get in mood to be intimate with my husband. He always comes near me, and i always tell me to leave me alone, and i tell him straight that I am not feeling anything, when you touch me, kiss me or anything i dont feel anything.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

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Asalam o aliqum Brother

I`ve been having a lot of problem with my marriage lately. From past month or so, i dont get in mood to be intimate with my husband. He always comes near me, and i always tell me to leave me alone, and i tell him straight that I am not feeling anything, when you touch me, kiss me or anything i dont feel anything. Even if i give in sometime, and have intercourse, the only thought that comes to my mind is when will it be over. I dont know what to do. I need to know is that a sin to turn down your husband? i heard from someone, that when your spouse wants something, its our responsibility to fullfill their desires. Brother im not sure what causing this in me. I am not into anyone. I am a house wife, and just take care of my child. I dont want my husband to feel that i am seeing someone, or think of me as a bad person. i try my best to be committed, but it just doesn`t happen...is their any prayer i can read to keep my marriage strong? and not weak? thank you

 

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Answer:

 

Low sexual appetite

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Respected Sister in Islam, not every individual (man or woman) has been bestowed with the same level of sexual desire; thus it is very possible that one amongst the partners in marriage has more appetite for sex than the other, and that would be absolutely normal and natural. But if one has an unusually low level of sexual appetite for their age, it would be prudent to consult an expert in the field of medicine who would be obviously better qualified to determine its reason and/or recommend a remedy.


 

Respected Sister, the only route Islam has made lawful for one to fulfill their natural physical desire is through the sacred institution of marriage.

 

Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife." The companions asked: O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."

Related by Ahmad and Muslim.

 

If one has committed themselves to the sacred institution of marriage, then indeed it would be their duty to fully cooperate and satisfy this natural and physical demand and appetite of their spouse. If one, without an absolutely genuine reason, chooses not to fulfill this their duty in marriage, it would indeed be regarded and considered a sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3257 Narrated by Talq ibn Ali

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a man calls his wife to satisfy his desire (ie. sexual intercourse) she must go to him even if she is occupied at the oven!"

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.460 Narrated by Abu Huraira

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the Angels will curse her till morning."

 

Your Question: ...is their any prayer i can read to keep my marriage strong? and not weak?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chatper 25 Surah Furqaan verses 74-76:

74 And those (believers) who pray "O Our Lord! Grant unto us spouses and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous."

75 Those are the ones who will be rewarded with the highest place in Paradise because of their patient constancy; therein shall they be met with salutations and peace

76 Dwelling therein; how beautiful an Abode and place of rest!

 

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, the mere repetition of a phrase or a supplication, without the genuine intention and efforts of one to work towards their desired goal will not bring the desired results. But ones sincere intentions and the efforts and striving one does to do a lawful deed, coupled with the blessings of the supplications will indeed bring about the results one desires, Insha Allah.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan


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