My wife said according to islam, if your husband is not living with you, its not good to live in Susral.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
I am
working here in SaudiArabia in a construction company. I recently married few
months ago.My wife is doctor but her house job is still remaining for 6 months.
she and me both want to complete the house job first and then come back to
Saudia. My wife said according to islam, if your husband is not living with you,
its not good to live in Susral. or she wana move to her parent`s home. But my
parents are old and only they are living in the house and they are mahram to her.
My one brother and sister married living in other countires. My question is that
, do islam give the right to girl to live in her parent`s home if her husband
is working outside of country ? Her argument is according to Shariah ?
Please
let me know.
Jawwad,
Jeddah,
32
years,
Mechanical
engineer.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Wife rights with mother in law
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 34:
34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has
given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their
means. Therefore the righteous
women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah
would have them guard (their modesty and chastity, the honor and
property of their husband, etc.)
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies
while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (saws) was asked which
woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he
looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his
wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he
disapproves."
In light of the guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah the
responsibility and duty that Islam has laid upon the believing wife is only
towards making sure that her husband is pleased and satisfied with her in every
aspect of her life! The wife has
absolutely no duties or responsibilities laid upon her by Islam towards her
husband’s family or ‘in-laws’, including the husband’s parents, brothers,
sisters, uncles, aunts, etc.
Thus, in essence, if a believing woman worships Allah
Subhanah as He Alone deserves to be worshipped, preserves her chastity, and
strives to the best of her ability to please her husband, the Messenger of
Allah (saws) declared that she will be given the honor to enter the
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a woman
observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity
and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of
Having said that she has absolutely no responsibility
towards her husband’s family, does not in any way mean or imply that she is
allowed to be rude, or disrespectful, or dishonor them in any way. She must at all times strive to develop good
cordial relations with her in-laws.
But if the believing woman does, of her own free will,
serve the parents or family of her husband, she would be doing a deed of
‘ehsaan’, a deed which would be over and above her duties and responsibilities;
and Allah Subhanah has time and again declared in the Glorious Quran that He
absolutely loves those believers who do ‘ehsaan’ or deeds which are over and
above their role of duty and responsibility.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah
Ale-Imraan verse 134 (part):
134 …. for Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and
above their call of duty).
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah
Ale-Imraan verse 148:
148 And Allah gave them a reward in this world and the excellent reward
of the Hereafter. For Allah loves the
‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah
Baqarah verse 195 (part):
195 … and do ‘ehsaan’; for Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do
deeds over and above their call of duty).
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah
Maidah verse 93 (part):
93 ….. For Allah loves the
‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).
Thus if one is fortunate enough to marry a wife who not
only obeys her husband, but also, of her own free will, serves the parents or
family of her husband (her in-laws); the husband should be grateful to such a
wife for her ‘ehsaan’ or deeds done over and above her duties and
responsibilities.
Your Question: My
question is that , do islam give the right to girl to live in her parent`s home
if her husband is working outside of country ? Her argument is according to
Shariah ?
If for any reason whatsoever, the wife is not comfortable
living with her in-laws in the same house, the wife indeed has a right in Islam
to demand a separate accommodation from the husband’s family, and if the
husband has the means, he should fulfill this rightful demand of his wife.
But the right that the wife does not have is to demand
that the husband too move away from his family and responsibilities and live
with her in her separate accommodation.
If there is none to take care and serve one’s parents, then it is the
duty and responsibility of the husband to stay with his parents and serve them
until their last breath with absolute humility, politeness, and kindness.
If the husband does not possess the means to fulfill his
wife’s lawful demand that he provide her with a separate accommodation, and the
wife requests her husband to allow her to live with her own parents until he
fulfills her rightful demand to a separate accommodation, there is absolutely
no harm if the husband accedes to her request and allows the wife to live with
her parents.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister