I have a question about having a sex during the fasting period in ramadhan .. I know it is forbidden but we still do it.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
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One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I have a question about having a sex during the fasting period in ramadhan .. I know it is forbidden but we still do it.. I feel terribly bad about that . what should I do? My husband know very little about Islam as he just become a moslem.
I got a feeling that my libido is always arousing during the fasting month.. is that really true or it is just my feeling?
Please help me with this problem .. should I stay away from my husband during ramadhan?
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Sex during ramadan
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Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 187:
187 Permitted to you on the night of the fasts is the approach (sexual intercourse) to your wives. They are your garments. And ye are their garments. Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now associate (sexual intercourse) with them (your wives), and seek what Allah hath ordained for you and eat and drink until the white thread of dawn appear to you distinct from its black thread; then complete your fast till the night appears; but do not associate with your wives while ye are in retreat in the mosques. Those are limits (set by) Allah; approach not nigh thereto. Thus doth Allah make clear His signs to men that they may learn self-restraint.
Your Question: I have a question about having a sex during the fasting period in ramadhan .. I know it is forbidden but we still do it.. I feel terribly bad about that . what should I do?
Dear and beloved sister in Islam, it is absolutely permissible and lawful in Islam for a husband and wife united in the sacred bond of marriage to enjoy conjugal or sexual relations with their spouses during the night hours in the month of Ramadan.
It is only when the fasting is in process and in effect during the daylight hours of Ramadan when it is absolutely forbidden and unlawful for a married couple to enjoy sexual intercourse with their spouse.
Abu Hurairah reported that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (saws) and said: "I am destroyed, O Messenger of Allah (saws)!" The Prophet (saws) asked: "What has destroyed you?" He said, "I had intercourse with my wife during a day of Ramadan." The Prophet (saws) asked: "Are you able to free a slave?" He said, "No". The Prophet (saws) asked: "Is it possible for you to fast for two consecutive months?" He said, "No." The Prophet (saws) asked: "Is it possible for you to feed sixty poor people?" He said, "No." The Prophet (saws) said: "Then sit." A basket of dates was brought to the Prophet (saws) and he said to the man: Give this in charity. The man said: "To someone poorer than us? There is no one in this city who is poorer than us!" The Prophet (saws) laughed until his molar teeth could be seen and said: "Go and feed your family with it!"
Related by the Muslim and Bukhari.
If one is unable to control ones desires for any reason and were to perform the actual act of sexual intercourse with ones spouse while in the state of fasting, it would indeed be a grave sin in the Sight of Allah. The atonement for this sin as prescribed by the Messenger of Allah (saws) is that the person should either free a slave, or (if one is unable to do that) fast for two consecutive months, or (if one is unable to do even that) then feed sixty poor people! Such is the enormity of the sin and the atonement of having sexual intercourse with ones spouse while one is in the state of fasting in Ramadan.
Your Question: Please help me with this problem .. should I stay away from my husband during ramadhan?
Respected Sister in Islam, one need not stay away from ones spouse during the whole of Ramadan, for Allah Subhanah has made it permissible and lawful for the believing couple to enjoy conjugal relations with each other during the night hours of Ramadan, if they wish to do so.
Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife." The companions asked: O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."
Related by Ahmad and Muslim.
Conjugal relations between a married couple are only forbidden in Shariah during the daylight fasting hours of Ramadan.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,