Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother,

Asalam o Alaikum, by the grace of Allah Al Mighty, i have a question which i put forward on behalf of my friend. She is being forced into getting married to a guy who she doesnt like but her parents are not paying attention to her dislike for the person and still want her to get married to him saying that everything will be alright once they get married. My question to u is if this is alrite according to Islam to marry girls by emotionally black mailing then if not then can u please quide us with some wazifas or quranic ayats that she can read with and without namaz so this proposal doesnt become final and she does not have to marry that guy as she is very depressed and her whole family is simply forcing her to marry him. I understand that this is islamic information site but then again being such a great scholar we seek your help in this matter as we are not that a true muslime but know that Quran contains the solution for everything. Kindly guide and respond to us a.s.a.p.

Praying for the betterment of the whole man kind.

take care,

Allah Hafiz.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Girl forced into marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Dear and Beloved sister, Islam guides that the sacred institution of marriage is not a simple union between just the two people who marry each other, but this sacred union of marriage effects and enjoins at least two families. Therefore, Islam has guided that neither should the believers marry someone without their parents consent, nor the parents should marry their children without their children’s approval.

Allah has given the absolute final right of acceptance or refusal in the hands of the bride; and if the bride verbally refuses the proposal, no power in creation has the right to perform her ‘nikaah’ without her explicit approval.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 9.79 Narrated by Aisha

I asked the Prophet (saws), "O Allah's Messenger (saws)! Should the women be asked for their consent to their marriage?" He (saws) said, "Yes." I said, "A virgin, if asked, feels shy and keeps quiet." He (saws) said, "Her silence means her consent."

Your Question: My question to u is if this is alrite according to Islam to marry girls by emotionally black mailing then if not then can u please quide us with some wazifas or quranic ayats that she can read with and without namaz so this proposal doesnt become final and she does not have to marry that guy as she is very depressed and her whole family is simply forcing her to marry him.

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, first and foremost one must understand and thoroughly comprehend that the Glorious Quran is the Book of Guidance which the Lord has revealed to guide mankind to the Right or Straight Path that leads to His Mercy. The Lord did not reveal this Glorious Book of Guidance so that one may recite a few chosen verses a stipulated number of times to bring upon them some worldly or material good, or ward off some worldly or material evil!!!

Thus my beloved sister, the simple recitation of some verses or ‘wazifas’ by itself do not bring upon one some material good or ward off some worldly evil…..but it is only when one sincerely strives to completely and unconditionally submit one’s will to the clear guidance of their Lord Most Merciful, they will be able to tread that Straight Path that leads to His Mercy and His Grace in this world and the Hereafter.

If your friend is unhappy with the choice of her suitor chosen by her parents, it would only be prudent that in absolute humility, politeness, and tenderness, and above all with wisdom and patience she convey her response to her parents that she is not willing to marry this particular person. If she fears that her parents will not give caution to her refusal, she may seek the help of a close relative or friend of her parents and explain her situation to them, and plead with them to make her parents realize that she is not willing to marry their chosen suitor. Your friend is well within her rights to seek every means of polite approach to her parents and make them realize that she is not willing to marry this person. If after her best efforts nothing works, and her parents are absolutely adamant on marrying their daughter to a person she does not wish to marry, the daughter is well within her rights to refuse to accept to marry the person when she will inevitably be asked for her approval at the time of her ‘nikaah’.

Although Islam has guided that the parents and their daughter both consult each other and come to a consensus on their choice, the Lord Most Merciful has placed the final right of refusal in the hands of the bride; if the bride specifically refuses to marry someone, no power in creation has the right to perform her ‘nikaah’ without her explicit approval.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption.'

Dear and beloved sister, if the person whom your friend’s parents wish for her to marry is deficient in his practice of religion or his character, then indeed your friend has ground to refuse such a proposal, and there would be no blame upon her in the Sight of Allah Subhanah. But if the person’s religion or character is not in question, then your friend should reconsider her position and at least give sincere consideration to the choice her parents have made; and if even after that she is unhappy with the choice, she must declare her refusal politely to her parents.

Islam guides that neither the parents should force their children in marrying someone of their choice whom their child does not approve of; nor should their children force or coerce or threaten their parents to marry them to someone of their choice whom their parents disapprove of….but rather both parties should fear Allah their Lord, consult each other, and unanimously agree on the choice; that would be akin to piety and righteousness in the Sight of the Lord.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan