Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalam-o-aliekom. I wanted to ask the respected scholar to clear the confusion about the issue of looking at the private parts of the spouse. Some of the scholars are of the view that looking at these private parts is allowed but disliked. They use terms like disliked, discouraged or better not to look. But the noble verse of the Quran clearly states that, interpretation of the meaning, “And those who guard their chastity. Except from their wives or that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame.” This verse as you know is a general statement which includes touching, looking, interacting. This noble verse is even clear enough for an illiterate person to understand.

Secondly, as you know there is no authentic Hadith forbids looking or mentions the word disliked etc. Whereas the Hadiths which are authentic clearly states that there is no awrah between spouses. If spouses are encouraged to touch, fondle, caress each others entire body, how come they are discouraged to look. As this doesn’t makes any sense to a sane person.

If bashfulness is the notion here in discouragement for looking, then I don’t think so that it would be easy to conduct the actual act of intimacy. Because revealing private parts to spouse would be much easier then actually doing the intercourse with them.

It is just like forbidding something that’s allowed to us. I understand modesty should prevail at all times but from the Noble Verses and the Hadiths, one clearly understands that in case of spouses, there is an exception. If it was considered something haram or disliked, then it would have been clearly mentioned just like it’s mentioned about intercourse during menses etc.

I’m seeking your answer as to why most scholars give these opinions without sound backup. I would be eagerly awaiting your answer to my question, in order for me to get to the right conclusion. Thankyou.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

No satr between husband and wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Statement: I’m seeking your answer as to why most scholars give these opinions without sound backup. I would be eagerly awaiting your answer to my question, in order for me to get to the right conclusion.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 223:

223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will.

Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: ‘The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife."’ The companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."

Related by Ahmad and Muslim.

Islam has allowed the husband and the wife in marriage every possible liberty to enjoy conjugal relations with each other, except three:

1. It is strictly prohibited to have sexual intercourse with one’s wife during her period of menstruation.
2. It is strictly prohibited to enter the woman through her anus.
3. Although there is no specific prohibition mentioned in the Quran and Sunnah, the majority of the scholars in Islam have voiced their opinion against ‘oral’ sex, whereby one touches the other’s private organs with their mouth.

Other than the above three restrictions, one may enjoy conjugal relations with one’s wife any place, any time, and any how their heart’s desire.

Beloved brother, rest absolutely assured that there is absolutely no ‘aurah’, ‘satr’, ‘purdah’, ‘hijaab’, etc. between a husband and a wife who are united in the sacred bond of marriage in Islam. They may look at each other’s ‘aurah’, touch, play, fondle, massage, and/or fulfill whatever intimacy their hearts desire and fancy…except violate the above three listed restrictions. There is absolutely nothing in the Quran or the authentic Sunnah which even implies that it is disliked or discouraged for a husband and a wife in marriage to look or touch each other’s ‘aurah’ if they wish to do so!

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.298 Narrated by Aisha

The Prophet (saws) and I used to take a bath from a single pot while we were ‘Junub’ (in the state of post-sex impurity).

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan