Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother Borhan,

Assalam-u-alikum. May Allah bless you for your prompt reply in the light of the holy Quran and Sunnah.

Under the following background please answer my two questions regarding the validity of a Muslim Marriage.

A marriage took place under the severe opposition from the boy’s parents. Opposition was so intense that the boy’s mother threatened to take her own life if her son goes ahead with the marriage to the girl of his choice who belongs to other community but is a practicing Muslim. The parents of the girl (only daughter) are also practicing Muslims. They were intimated in various ways by the boy’s parents.

The parents of the boy also e-mailed the girl’s father about the very personal character and nature of the boy, his arrogance, bad temper and ill manners etc. since his childhood. The boy’s father also warned that the girl will never be happy by marrying their son as they know their son very well from ‘cradle’. The boy was already engaged to another girl of their likings from their own community. All these allegations about the boy ware ignored by the girl’s parents as they found the boy before the marriage as a good practicing Muslim with sober character and humbleness in all respect which attracted the girl’s parents against all the odds, thinking that the boys parents are desperate to stop his sons’ marriage with their daughter for no other reasons but the difference of culture which is un-Islamic. Further, the girl’s parents gave their consent to this marriage thinking that if they do not, the couple may go for civil marriage bring the insult to both families.

The Marriage which took place far way in another country away from the boy’s parent’s city at the request of the boy himself. Not a single person of the boy’s side was presents at the wading ceremony. The girl’s side was fully represented.

However, within few hours of the marriage girl’s parents found the obvious truth, the clime made by the boy’s parents about his character of arrogance and ill manners. Immediately after the marriage the boy cut off all communications with the girl’s parents and left the country with his newly wedded ‘wife’ in very unexpected manner. Since then he did not maintained normal relation with the girl’s parents.

As a result of this marriage he was already thrown out by his own parents. He is also was ex-communicated by the girl’s parents finding boy’s real character. The poor girl is in the middle somehow maintaining an artificial ‘happy life’ with his husband in a faraway land from both the parents. Boy’s parent, his mother in particular was so shocked and upset at this marriage that within few weeks she developed cancer and died after 4/5 months of their marriage. On her death bed she made her husband (boy’s father) a promise NOT TO accept the girl in their house during his life time. Although their son had been readmitted in their family during his mother’ life time. Losing the normal relation from both the parents the couple left the country. As both of them are well educated they found jobs in a foreign country and decided to live there leaving their old parents behind only maintaining formal communication with their respective parents.

1) Is Marriage between the two well educated adults valid if the marriage takes place without the consent and under vigorous opposition from the

boy’s parents?

2) Is it ok if the girl divorces her husband considering the unhappiness that has brought by their marriage to both parents? Under the wrath of both parents, they and their future children may not have a normal life.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Validity of Marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question-1: Is Marriage between the two well educated adults valid if the marriage takes place without the consent and under vigorous opposition from the boy’s parents?

If all the conditions of marriage like proposal and acceptance, determination of the mehr, presence of the ‘wali’ (guardian) of the bride and two witnesses were met, the marriage will be considered legal and valid in the Sight of Allah Subhanah and Shariah.

Thus if the question is whether the marriage is legal in the sight of Shariah, assuming that all the obligatory conditions of ‘nikaah’ were met, the answer would be absolutely yes. But if the question was whether it was right, appropriate and Pleasing to Allah for the boy to take such a step against the consent of his parents, then obviously the step taken by the boy would constitute a clear disobedience of his parents, and thus a grave sin in the sight of Allah Subhanah.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the ‘Al-Kabair” (Great Sins), and he (saws) said, "They are:--

(1 ) To join others in worship with Allah,

(2) To be undutiful to one's parents,

(3) To kill a person without just cause (i.e. to commit the crime of murder),

(4) And to give a false witness."

Your Question-2: Is it ok if the girl divorces her husband considering the unhappiness that has brought by their marriage to both parents?

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2173 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah is divorce.’

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2172 Narrated by Muharib

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Allah did not make anything lawful more abominable to Him than divorce.’

Before considering divorce, it would be prudent for the couple to seek the forgiveness of Allah and of their parents whom they have so offended, amend their conduct with them; and thus save their marriage. But after giving it her best try, if the husband is still not willing to seek repentance from Allah and from his parents, and the girl is not happy with her situation in her marriage; there is no harm if the girl seeks, as an absolute last resort, to initiate a divorce proceedings against her husband and there will be no sin upon her.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and sincere well wisher in Islam,

Burhan