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I ve been married for a lil more than a month and i have a few doubts....

Dear brother,,
assalamu alaikum...
i ve been married for a lil more than a month and i have a few doubts.... As my husband works late into the night and he has some important programs...it gets really late by the time we sleep...sometimes almost to 3 in the nite...bcos of this we are unable to get up for fajr...bathe and then do our prayers...since we are newly married ...this seems to happen almost everyday...i really do not know wat to do...is thr anyway we can get up in the morn ...do abulution and then pray ...after we had done intercourse in the nite?...is thr any exception in cases like this?...or is it compulsory to bathe b4 fajr prayer irrespective of how late we sleep...
rite now...since we wake up late...we sometime land up doing the prayer well past fajr time....its been bothering me for sometime...but i really dont know wat to do?...pls advice me...

also is oral sex permitted in islam?...or is it strictly forbidden?.... also id like to know how a women shud go about bathing after doing intercourse...wat is the proper method?...and do i have to recite any
prayers?b4 taking my bath... id also like to know...is it  imperative to disclose all secrets to my husband?...thr r a few things in my past...which my husband would def not like to know...i loved a boy sincerely b4 my weddin...but it dint work out...not that i had any physical relationship with that boy....he hasnt even touched me once intentionally...it was all very deep and from the heart...but since we knew it wudnt work out...we decided to stop talking and go abt our own ways and wait n c wat allah has in mind for us...if we werent meant to be together in this world...we decided to meet in the next world...the main
reason was to save our parents face from any shame...

i havent talked to him since my wedding...i am happy with my husband...he is a nice man,..mayb it was meant to be that way...and i have no intention on cheating on my husband either...but the love i had for that boy is still deep in my heart,,,, is this rong?..i love my husband a lot...but my love for that boy is still thr...i dont think my respect and love for him will ever diminish...since he changed my life in many ways...i am still happy i met him...tho thr is no problem of me ever going bac to him...i dont even think bt him anymore....but my respect for him is very deep...is it rong to have deep love and respect for another
man whn im married?...even tho i am 100 % sure...i would never cheat or even talk to that boy again in my entire life... pls advice me on this matter...

can secrets which will keep truble away from marriage be kept as secrets?...or shud everything be told out?.. i also pray for that boy's well being everyday....is it rong to pray for another man?? pls gimme clear answers?...pls gimme direct answer and do not copy paste previous answers...it is ok if it takes a lil more time...i jus want direct answers,,, hoping u will clear all my doubts,,, expecting ur reply soon..

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Question-1: ...i really do not know wat to do...is thr anyway we can get up in the morn ...do abulution and then pray ...after we had done intercourse in the nite?...is thr any exception in cases like this?...or is it compulsory to bathe b4 fajr prayer irrespective of how late we sleep...

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 6: O ye who believe! When ye prepare for prayer wash your faces and your hands (and arms) to the elbows; rub your heads (with water); and (wash) your feet to the ankles. If ye are in a state of ceremonial impurity bathe your whole body. But if ye are ill or on a journey or one of you cometh from offices of nature or ye have been in contact with women and ye find no water then take for yourselves clean sand or earth and rub therewith your faces and hands. Allah doth not wish to place you in a difficulty but to make you clean and to complete His favor to you that ye may be grateful.

 

Beloved Sister, purifying oneself by performing a ghusl or full bath after conjugation is an obligatory command and condition for being able to perform the prayers. There are no exceptions to this command except when one is ill or traveling and cannot find water to purify oneself; only in such situations one should purify oneself from sexual impurity through the process of tayammum by using pure dust.


 

But when water is available, irrespective of how late one sleeps, if one is sexually impure it is absolutely obligatory to purify oneself through ghusl or full bath to be able to perform the prayers.

 

Your Question-2: also is oral sex permitted in islam?...or is it strictly forbidden?....
Islam has permitted the husband and the wife bonded in the sacred institution of marriage to enjoy each other any which way they wish, except for three restrictions:

Anal Sex Having sexual intercourse with the wife during her period of menstruation Oral Sex.

 

Although oral sex, whereby one touches the spouses private parts with the mouth, is not specifically prohibited by name in the Quran or the Sunnah; the majority of the good scholars in Islam have voiced their opinion against this act and said that it is unhygienic, unclean, and impure and guided the believers to fear Allah and abstain from it.

 

Other than the above three listed prohibitions, the husband and wife in Islam have all the liberty to enjoy their conjugal relationship any which way they wish.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 222-223:

222 They ask thee concerning women's courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution; so keep away from women in their courses and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves ye may approach them in any manner time or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly, and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.

223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will.

 

Your Question-3: also id like to know how a women shud go about bathing after doing intercourse...wat is the proper method?...and do i have to recite any prayers?b4 taking my bath...
The process for performing the ghusl or full bath of purification after sexual impurity is the same for the men and the women in Islam. There are no specific prayers or duas one has to recite before one starts one bath of purification, except to make intention in ones heart for performing the ghusl.

 

Fiqh-us-Sunnah Fiqh 1.58a

How ghusl is performed

According to the practice of the Prophet (saws) the correct manner of performing ghusl or full bath is:

Make intention in ones heart for performing the ghusl or full bath of purification,

wash both hands three times,

wash ones private parts,

make a complete ablution like the one made for prayer(the Prophet (saws) used to delay washing his feet until the end of his ghusl if he was using a tub),

rub water through one's hair three times, letting the water reach down to the roots of the hair,

pour water over the entire body, begining with the right side, then the left, washing under the armpits, inside the ears, inside the navel, inside the toes and whatever part of the body can be easily rubbed. This account is based on the following report from 'Aishah: "When the Prophet (saws), upon whom be peace, took his bath after sexual intercourse, he would begin by washing his hands. Then he would pour water from his right hand to his left and wash his sexual organs, make the ablution for prayer, take some water and put his fingers to the roots of his hair to the extent that he sees that the skin is wet, then pour water over his head three times and then over the rest of his body." (Related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)

 

Your Question-4: id also like to know...is it  imperative to disclose all secrets to my husband?
There is absolutely no obligation on the part of the husband or the wife to reveal or disclose all their past deeds to their partners in marriage; especially if one fears that ones past deeds might dent the sacred relationship of marriage or sow distrust amongst the couple. The most important thing is to preserve and be absolutely honest to each other after one has been bonded in the sacred institution of marriage; and if that requires one to leave ones past in the past, then that is exactly what one should do. When Allah Subhanah has covered His slaves past deeds done in ignorance, it does not behove a believer to put oneself in an unnecessary trial by himself exposing the deeds he might have done in ones past, thus sowing distrust and dissent in the sacred relationship of marriage. There is absolutely nothing in Islam that dictates or commands that the husband or the wife are obligated to reveal or disclose everything one might have done in ones past.

 

Your Question-5: i havent talked to him since my wedding...i am happy with my husband...he is a nice man,..mayb it was meant to be that way...and i have no intention on cheating on my husband either...but the love i had for that boy is still deep in my heart,,,,is this rong?
Beloved Sister in Islam, it is only natural that when one is closely attached to someone in ones past, one might at times involuntary think about that person; and there is absolutely no sin in such involuntary thoughts. If one brings these thoughts to action, and starts or initiates something of an illicit or secret relationship with another after marriage; then it would indeed be a grave sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

 

It would only be best for you and your relationship with your husband, that you try to disregard the thought of the boy you once loved in your past, and concentrate on strengthening your relationship with your husband.

 

The thoughts that involuntarily arise in your heart regarding the boy you loved in your past would not constitute a sin; but if you took any action to further that thought into deeds or took steps to re-ignite that relationship in any way, it would indeed be considered a grave sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

 

Sahih Muslim Hadith 235 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said that Allah, High and Exalted He is, Says: When it occurs to my bondsman that he should do a good deed but he actually does not do it, I record one good deed for him; but if he puts it into practice, I make an entry of ten good acts in his favour. When it occurs to him to do evil, but he does not commit it, I forgive that. But if he commits it, I record one evil deed against his name. The Angels said: That bondsman of Yours intends to commit evil, though His Lord is more Vigilant than he. Upon this He (the Lord) said: Watch him; if he commits (evil), write it against his name, but if he refrains from doing it, write one good deed for him, for he desisted from doing it for My sake.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 


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