Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Asalam wa alikum brother, I have a question for you. Please can you answer this for me? I am a single girl looking to get married. I have been meeting a man for a year, we both love each other very much and wish to get married. But when we meet we engage in illegal acts which are not permitted in Islam. I know i shouldnt but i cant stop myself and then i feel really guilty.

However, he cannot support me yet as he is studying and yet to make a future to support us. I am willing to wait for him. It will take about two years. I cant tell my parents yet as they will not accept him as he is not yet established. What shall i do? wait or leave him? I dont want to loose him but i feel that if I carry on the way I am the he will be taken away from me as a punishment. Please help me bhaijaan. I dont want to do wrong but i need this person in my life. I dont think i can be happy with anyone else. I will await your reply, as long as it takes. Allahafiz.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Girl loves boy marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5: This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity, not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 23 Surah Muminoon verses 1-7:

1 The Believers must (eventually) win through

2 Those who humble themselves in their prayers;

3 Who avoid vain talk;

4 Who are active in deeds of charity;

5 Who abstain from sex

6 Except with those joined to them in the marriage bond or those whom their right hands possess; for (in their case) they are free from blame

7 But those whose desires exceed those limits are transgressors.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqan verses 68-70:

68 (The true servants of The Merciful are) Those who invoke not with Allah any other god, nor slay such life as Allah has made sacred except for just cause, nor commit ‘zina’; and any that does this (not only) meets punishment,

69 (But) the Penalty on the Day of Judgment will be doubled to him and he will dwell therein in ignominy

70 Unless he repents, believes, and works righteous deeds; for Allah will change the evil of such persons into good, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful

Beloved Sister in Islam, there is absolutely no doubt that the having of an illicit or secret relationship between two non-mehrams of the opposite sex is absolutely despised in the sight of Allah Subhanah, and is considered a huge and heinous sin in Islam.

Your feeling guilty regarding your relationship with this man is evidence that you fear Allah and the Last Day; and it is nothing but the Mercy of The Most Merciful Lord that He has left the door of repentance or ‘Taubah’ open for all who wish and opt to turn back to Him and amend their conduct.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54: (O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136: Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54: When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

Your Question: However, he cannot support me yet as he is studying and yet to make a future to support us. I am willing to wait for him. It will take about two years. I cant tell my parents yet as they will not accept him as he is not yet established. What shall i do? wait or leave him?

Dear and Beloved Sister, if you truely love the brother and if he loves you as much as you love him; tell him plainly to fear Allah and either he approach your parents seeking your hand in marriage; or leave you alone. If the two of you cannot control your emotions and don’t want to lose each other, the best and most righteous way is perform your ‘nikaah’ now and do the ‘ruksati’ at a later date of your convenience; that way both of you will be able to preserve your chastity in the sight of Allah Subhanah and also not be separated from each other.

Beloved Sister, let not the brother being established be an obstacle or an excuse to sustain an illicit and illegal relationship of sin in the sight of Allah Subhanah; for it is the solemn promise of Allah Subhanah that it is incumbent upon Him to help the brother who wishes to marry and thus preserve his chastity, but does not have the means to marry!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Nur verse 32: Marry those among you who are single or the virtuous ones among your slaves, male or female: if they are in poverty Allah will give them means out of His Grace: for Allah encompasseth all, and He knoweth all things.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3089 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There are three whom it is right for Allah to help:

the slave whose master has agreed to let him buy his freedom when he wishes to pay the sum,

the one who marries desiring to live a chaste life,

and the one who fights in Allah's path."

Dear and Beloved Sister, whatever option you choose, as your brothers and sincere well-wishers in Islam we implore you to fear Allah and choose to do only what is Pleasing to your Lord and Creator.

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan