Rituals of marriage night
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalam Alaikum! May Allah subhanahu bestow his blessings upon you for this wonderful forum you initiated. Can you let me know as to what is the authenticity of the prayers that the couple prays on the marriage night (first night). Also, if any quote from hadith/the Holy Quran do guide me on it as to the rituals of the marriage night. What need to be followed before copulation... Also, it is advised that it is not permissible to have the marriage night at a Hotel. It is advisable to have it at some mumins house.. Why is it so... ?? Your reply would be appreciated..
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Rituals on first night of marriage
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: Can you let me know as to what is the authenticity of the prayers that the couple prays on the marriage night (first night).
If the couple wish to pray voluntary (nafl) prayers of gratefulness to Allah Subhanah on the first night of marriage (or any night, or every night, etc.), there is absolutely no harm.
But there is absolutely no evidence in the Quran or Sunnah, whereby they are required to pray any specific prayer on the first night of marriage. Some misguided sects in Islam have made a ritual out of this, and demand that the bride and/or groom pray two rakahs of gratefulness, and they use the sherwani or outer garment of the groom as the prayer-mat or musalla! This ritual has absolutely no basis or evidence in Islam, and the believers should abstain from this self-invented ritual.
Your Question: Also, if any quote from hadith/the Holy Quran do guide me on it as to the rituals of the marriage night.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.367 Narrated by Abdul Aziz
Thabit asked Anas, "O Abu Hamza! What did the Prophet pay her (as Mahr to his wife to be, Safiya bint Huyai)?" He said, "Her self was her Mahr for he (saws) manumitted her and then married her." Anas added, "While on the way, Um Sulaim dressed her (Hadrat Safiya) for marriage (ceremony) and at night she sent her as a bride to the Prophet (saws) . So the Prophet (saws) was a bridegroom and he said, 'Whoever has anything (food) should bring it.' He (saws) spread out a leather sheet (for the food) and some brought dates and others cooking butter. So they prepared a dish of Hais (a kind of meal). And that was the Walima (the marriage banquet) of Allah's Apostle (saws) ."
Al-Muwatta Hadith 28.47
Anas ibn Malik related that Abd ar-Rahman ibn Awf came to the Messenger of Allah (saws), and he had a trace of yellow on him. The Messenger of Allah (saws) asked about it. He told him that he had just been married. The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "How much did you hand over to her (as Mehr)?" He said, "The weight of a date pit in gold." The Messenger of Allah (saws) said to him, "Hold a feast, even if it is only with a sheep.
There are no particular rituals for the marriage night in Islam, other than holding a marriage feast or Walima, which is a preferred Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws). And when Islam has made the issue of marriage simple, we should not start inventing or following rituals and make it a part of Islamic marriage! Some misguided sects in Islam have made the act of marriage an elaborate affair with tens of self-invented rituals and rasms, which are copied from pagan customs and have absolutely no basis or evidence from the Quran or Sunnah, and the believers must abstain from following such pagan rituals.
Your Question: What need to be followed before copulation...
Once a man and a woman are legally wedded through the nikaah, they become legal to each other and they may conjugate whenever they want. It is not obligatory that the husband and wife must conjugate on the first night of marriage; they may do so if they wish, and they may abstain if they so wish.
When one meets with his wife, he should supplicate Allah Subhanah as practiced and taught to the believers by the Messenger of Allah (saws). He (saws) used to pray thus:
Allah humma jannib nass Shaitaan, wa jannib nass Shaitaana ma razak tana.
(O Allah. Save us from the Shaitaan; and save what You provide us (the child), from the Shaitaan).
Your Question: Also, it is advised that it is not permissible to have the marriage night at a Hotel. It is advisable to have it at some mumins house.. Why is it so... ??
One may spend the marriage night wherever one may wish! Islam has laid no such restriction on the believers that they cannot spend the marriage night in a hotel or in someone elses house! And when Islam has not laid any restrictions, we have no right to place restrictions from ourselves.
The truth is that some sects of Islam have invented a lot of rituals and rasms in the name of marriage, which have absolutely no basis in the Quran and Sunnah. In fact, a lot of the rites and rituals of marriage in the Indian-subcontinent are copied from pagan cultures like Hinduism, etc. The believers, who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day, must recognize these innovations and must strive to abstain from it! There are so many different pagan rituals which have been adopted by the misguided people, that it would be hard for us to identify each of them. If you need an opinion on whether a particular marriage ritual is allowed or not, please describe the ritual to us, and we will be honored to send you a reply in light of the Quran and Sunnah.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,