Can i do kissing with my wife during fasting to such extent that we both arouse
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Can i do kissing with my wife during fasting to such extent that we both arouse and can we touch each other genitals during roza...will it effect our roza
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Sex Limit during fasting
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 187:
187 Permitted to you on the night of the fasts is the approach to your wives. They are your garments. And ye are their garments. Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now associate with them and seek what Allah hath ordained for you and eat and drink until the white thread of dawn appear to you distinct from its black thread; then complete your fast till the night appears; but do not associate with your wives while ye are in retreat in the mosques. Those are limits (set by) Allah; come not even near (those set limits of Allah). Thus doth Allah make clear His signs to men that they may learn self-restraint.
Allah Subhanah has prohibited the believers from having sexual intercourse with their wives while in the state of fasting; but it is absolutely legal and permissible to cohabit with them during the nights after the fast has been completed.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.149 Narrated by Aisha
The Prophet used to kiss and embrace (his wives) while he was fasting, and he had more power to control his desires than any of you.
The Messenger of Allah (saws) used to kiss and embrace his wives while he was fasting, thus there is no harm if one kisses or embraces ones wife while in the state of fasting, for it does not invalidate ones fast in any way.
Abu Hurairah reported that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (saws) and said: "I am destroyed, O Messenger of Allah (saws)!" The Prophet (saws) asked: "What has destroyed you?" He said, "I had intercourse with my wife during a day of Ramadan." The Prophet (saws) asked: "Are you able to free a slave?" He said, "No". The Prophet (saws) asked: "Is it possible for you to fast for two consecutive months?" He said, "No." The Prophet (saws) asked: "Is it possible for you to feed sixty poor people?" He said, "No." The Prophet (saws) said: "Then sit." A basket of dates was brought to the Prophet (saws) and he said to the man: Give this in charity. The man said: "To someone poorer than us? There is no one in this city who is poorer than us!" The Prophet (saws) laughed until his molar teeth could be seen and said: "Go and feed your family with it."
Related by the Muslim and Bukhari.
If one is unable to control ones desires for any reason and were to perform the actual act of sexual intercourse with his wife, it would be a grave sin in the Sight of Allah, and the atonement for this sin is that the person should either free a slave, or (if he is unable to do that) fast for two consecutive months, or (if he is unable to do even that) feed sixty poor people! Such is the enormity of the sin of having sexual intercourse with ones wife while one is in the state of fasting.
Although what has been specifically prohibited is the actual act of sexual intercourse while in the state of fasting, if the couple were to kiss and fondle each other to such an extent that they touch and play with each others private parts and are sexually aroused, it is possible that they might not be able to control their desires and might end up doing what has been prohibited for them during the fasts of Ramadan!
Allah Subhanah Declares in the above quoted verse of Surah Baqarah come not even near (those set limits of Allah) and the couple touching each others private parts and their state of sexual arousal while fasting would definitely be in violation of the command of their Lord All-Mighty! The believing couple should fear their Lord Most Majestic and abstain from approaching and coming so much near His set limits!
Your Question: will it effect our roza?
If the couple who came so close to the set limits of Allah Subhanah during their fast did not release what releases when one is sexually aroused, and somehow were able to control themselves and abstained from the actual act of sexual intercourse; legally speaking, their fast would not be effected and the couple should continue and complete their fast until sunset.
The believers should fear their Lord Who is All-Seeing, All-Knowing, and seek His sincere forgiveness for putting themselves in a situation which is so close to His set limits and boundaries!
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,