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Can a lady visits her parents grave?

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

dear brother

assalamo aleikum

i thank you for a your guidance and opinion. which benifits me and my family. i always depend on your answers when i have doubt. may Allah bless you and help you in all your deeds. ameen.

i am called for the quran khani of my aunt. is it permissible for me to go? what should i do?

can a lady visits her parents grave? if she is allowed to visit what should she do? what are the prayers one should say at that time?

thank you

a sister


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Woman visit graveyard

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


May Allah Subhanah reward you with the best of this world and the Hereafter for your kind comments of encouragement for our humble efforts in the propagation of the Truth. If our humble and modest efforts have helped even one brother or sister get closer to Allah and His Deen of Truth, then we would consider ourselves indeed fortunate to have been given this opportunity by the Lord Most Merciful to serve in His Cause. We hope, beg, and pray the Merciful Lord accepts our humble and weak efforts, forgives us our shortcomings, and saves you, us, and all the believers from the torment of the Hell Fire. Ameen.


Your Question:i am called for the quran khani of my aunt. is it permissible for me to go? what should i do?

Dear and beloved sister in Islam, there is absolutely no evidence in the authentic Sunnah and practice of the Messenger of Allah (saws) whereby he would nominate a particular or specific day or occasion, and gather people only so that all of them together could recite the complete Quran. Beloved sister, reading, reciting, studying, memorizing, and learning the Glorious Quran is indeed a great, meritorious, absolutely encouraged and an acceptable form of worship in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.but to invent a ritual whereby a occasion such as the moving into a new house or office (etc) is nominated, people are gathered for the occasion, food is served for the occasion, and the whole ritual is centered so that the gathering recite the Quran together or in parts is something which is not endorsed by the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws); and any act of worship which is not endorsed by Allah and His Messenger (saws) has to be an innovation, and every single innovation in the pure and perfect deen of Islam is an error and a grave sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.


Aisha narrated that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said: If somebody innovates something which is not present in our religion, then that thing will be rejected.

Related by Bukhari.


Sahih Muslim Hadith 1885 Narrated by Jabir ibn Abdullah

That the Prophet of Allah (saws) said in a sermon: The best speech is that which is embodied in the Book of Allah, the Al Quran; and the best guidance is the guidance given by me, Mohamed (saws). The most evil affairs are the innovations, and every innovation is an error.


Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4515 Narrated by Ali ibn AbuTalib

That the Prophet of Allah (saws) said: If anyone introduces an innovation (in religion), he will be responsible for it. If anyone introduces an innovation or gives shelter to a man who introduces an innovation (in religion), he is cursed by Allah, by His Angels, and by all the people.


Your Question: is it permissible for me to go? what should i do?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verse 72:

72 (The true servants of Allah are) Those who witness no falsehood (intentionally), and if they (happen to) pass by futility, they pass by it with honorable (avoidance).


Beloved sister, if you have prior knowledge that the gathering is one of bida, it would not behove and befit a believer who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day to intentionally go and be a witness to a falsehood taking place.


If your aunt is close to you and you sincerely believe that she would be willing to listen to good caution, you should visit her personally, and with extreme wisdom, politeness, and humility explain the magnitude of the evil of following innovations in the deen of Islam.but whatever you do, make sure that your talk does not turn into an argument or create any animosity whatsoever in your relationship with your aunt.


If you are not confident that your aunt will give an ear to your good caution, or you fear that your telling her of her involvement in an innovation is a grave sin, or you fear that animosity would be created in your relationship with should visit her personally, and with extreme wisdom, politeness, and humility explain that you will be unable to attend the gathering.


Beloved sister in Islam, whatever you do or say, remember to fear Allah your Lord, and make absolutely sure that you do not spoil your relations with your aunt in the least; for Islam absolutely does not permit that one spoil or break blood-relations, no matter what the situation or condition or disagreements that may happen to arise.


Your Question: can a lady visits her parents grave?

There is absolutely no harm in Islam if a believing woman wishes to occasionally visit the grave of her parents or loved ones.


Hadrat Abdallah ibn Abi Mulaikah (r.a.) said, "Once Aishah (the wife of the Prophet (saws)) returned after visiting the graveyard. I asked, 'O Mother of the Believers, where have you been?' She said: 'I went out to visit the grave of my brother Abd ar-Rahman.' I asked her: 'Didn't the Messenger of Allah (saws) prohibit visiting graves?' She said, 'Yes, he did forbid visiting graves during the early days (of Islam), but later on he ordered us to visit them'."

Related by Al-Hakim and Al-Baihaqi.


The purpose of visiting graves is to remember the Hereafter, which is something that both men and women need. Men are by no means more in need of this reminder than women.


The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: , "May Allah curse the women who are frequent visitors of the graves."

Related by Ahmad and Tirmidhi.


Al-Qurtubi explains the implications of the above hadith: "The curse mentioned in this hadith applies only to those women who visit graves frequently. The reason for this curse lies perhaps in the fact that it involves infringement of the rights of the husband, and leads to adornment and exhibition of their beauty to strangers, and shouting, yelling, and other similar things." It may be said that, "If no such harm is feared from women visiting graves, then there is no valid reason for preventing them from visiting graves, for indeed remembrance of death is something that both men and women equally need."


Most of the scholars in Islam hold it permissible for the women to visit the graves occasionally; but hold it forbidden for the women to visit the graves frequently as stated by the Messenger of Allah (saws).


Your Question: if she is allowed to visit what should she do? what are the prayers one should say at that time?

Dear and beloved sister, the purpose and wisdom behind visiting graves of ones loved ones or the graveyard of the believers is that one who is alive remembers that one day he too will reach his decreed destination of the grave, remember the concept of the Hereafter, and also to fulfill their emotional requirement to make supplications for the deceased loved ones. Allah is our witness sister nothing reminds one who is alive of his dispensability and his own death than a visit to a graveyard!


Thus if ever one gets too much involved in the world and its glitter, or one realizes that the ultimate truth of death and the Hereafter has distanced itself from his should make a visit to a graveyard and contemplate their own inevitable end.such a visit to the graveyard done with the right intentions truly puts this world, its many and untold temptations, and all its glitter and glamour in the right perspective of those who are alive!


Even the supplications which the Messenger of Allah (saws) made and taught the believers to recite when visiting a graveyard, reminds one of their inevitable end and destination:

Ibn Abbas reported: "Once the Prophet (saws) passed by graves in Madinah. He (saws) tumed his face toward them saying: 'Peace be upon you, O dwellers of these graves. May Allah forgive us and you. You have preceded us, and we are following your trail'."

Related by Tirmidhi.


Aishah reported: "I asked: 'What should I say when I pass by a graveyard, O Messenger of Allah (saws)?' He (saws) replied, 'Say, "Peace be upon the believing men and women dwelling here. May Allah grant mercy to those who have preceded us and those who are to follow them. Certainly, Allah willing, we will join you"'.

Related by Muslim.


Thus beloved sister, the importance of visiting graves of ones loved ones or a graveyard of the believers has more to do with benefiting the one who visits them than those who are buried in them. The supplications one makes for the deceased loved one do indeed benefit them, but one does not need to go to a graveyard to make supplications for the deceased, one may very well make supplications for their deceased loved ones wherever they may be.


Your Question: what are the prayers one should say at that time?

After paying ones salutations to the deceased in a graveyard, one may make supplications to the Lord Merciful for the have Mercy on the deceased, forgive their sins and shortcomings, save them from the torment of the Hell Fire, grant them an honorable place in Paradise, etc.


Sahih Muslim Hadith 2104 Narrated by Awf ibn Malik

The Prophet (saws) said prayer on the dead body, and I remembered his prayer: 'O Allah! Forgive him, have mercy upon him, give him peace and absolve him. Receive him with honour and make his grave spacious; wash him with water, snow and hail. Cleanse him from faults as Thou wouldst cleanse a white garment from impurity. Requite him with an abode more excellent than his, with a family better than his family, and with a mate better than his mate. Admit him to the Garden, and protect him from the torment of the grave and the torment of the Fire."


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,




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