I have had ten years of a difficult marriage with a very stubborn and independent `Arab wife, constant fighting and arguing, and numerous incidents involving the police
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
I have
had ten years of a difficult marriage with a very stubborn and independent
`Arab wife, constant fighting and arguing, and numerous incidents involving the
police. During our most recent argument, I was driven to the point of slapping
her face. It had never happened before. I also poured my fruit-juice on her.
I told her I wanted to divorce, and she has agreed by filing with the American
court. I have repeatedly asked her to come to the masjid and settle our divorce
with the Imam. We have many masajid and a few `ulema in our area. I have also
had a well-known Imam in the
She refuses, saying that the Imam will not give her what she wants.
In the divorce filing, she has accused me of adultery, which never happened.
She has accused me of repeated abuse, which never happened. She is asking for
the entirety of my wealth. I have been blocked from my home, which is also
where I work, for the last 6 weeks. I have also only been allowed to see my
daughters, one of whom has Leukemia, for 2 hours in the same 6 week period.
My question is, what is the status of this woman? I have read that her act is
one of kufr. If so, is she also murtaad? If so, what is the recommended way of
dealing with her? It is obvious that I have to continue with the court proceedings,
or else I may lose everything. How aggressively should I fight her in the
court?
Sincerely and Respectfully Yours,
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
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Answer:
Divorce a woman in US
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is no one (no idol, no person, no
grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai,
nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Beloved brother, regardless of the unfortunate situation
of the state of your marriage, because you live in a nation which does not
honor Shariah law, there are two issues regarding the laws of divorce:
- The
Shariah Issue
- The issue of the law of the land you
reside.
Regardless of where a believer lives or resides, it is
absolutely obligatory upon them to refer every aspect of their lives to Shariah
law. If any party denies or rejects to
implement Shariah law in any aspect of their life or in their disputes amongst
each other, and instead seeks a decision from the ignorant un-godly man-made
laws of the land so that they may get some advantage….they shall indeed be held
severely accountable for their manifest act of hypocrisy in the Presence of the
Majestic and Supreme Lord on an Inevitable Day.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verses 60-61:
60 Hast thou not turned thy vision to those who declare that they
believe in the Revelations that have come to thee and to those before thee?
Their (real) wish is to resort together for judgment (in their disputes) to the
Evil One though they were ordered to reject him. But the Shaytaan's wish is to
lead them astray far away (from the Right).
61 When it is said to them: "Come to what Allah hath revealed and
to the Messenger (seeking a solution to you disputes)": you will see the
Hypocrites avert their faces from thee in disgust!
Beloved brother, because you have chosen to live in an
Un-Islamic State, and your wife refuses to settle the divorce case through
Shariah Law with your local imam but wishes to take her divorce case to the
courts of the land….it is obvious you will have to settle the dispute with her
in the court of the land.
Regardless of the attitude and unjust demands of your
wife, you as a believer must at all times fear Allah and even in the courts of
the land say and do only what is right and akin to justice; and even if the
courts of the land were to grant you more than you rightfully deserve, you
should accept only what is lawful for you according to Shariah Law.
Your
Question: How aggressively should I fight her in the court?
Beloved brother, you may fight as aggressively as you wish
if your lawful rights are being usurped; but if you chose to forgive and be
generous, then know with conviction that the Real Justice will be served by the
Majestic and Supreme Judge on that Inevitable Day of Justice in the Hereafter.
Beloved brother, we reiterate again, that regardless of
however unjust the demands and accusations of your wife, you as a believer in
Allah and the Last Day fear Allah and say and do only what is akin to piety,
righteousness and justice in the Sight of Allah. Just because one party has laid unjust
demands and accusations does not give a believer a right to make unjust demands
or false accusations in retaliation; but the believer must at all times fear
Allah, and do only what is akin to piety and righteousness.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister