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How a wife's duties for the job of "house'wife" can go against above 3 Quranic Ayats?

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamo Alaykum,

A QUESTION


In your answer to question No. 4250 dated 9 September, re: wife's duty, you have mentioned as under:

Quote:
"Thus in essence, the cooking, washing, and cleaning of the house is theduty and responsibility of the men in Islam and not the women."

"If the woman does not will to cook, wash and clean, the husband is obliged to either do it himself or provide a servant for this maintenance to be done and performed for the upkeep and maintenance of his house and family."


Unquote.
However, Allah has said in the following 2 Ayats, that it is wife, from whom the husband will get TRANQUILITY
.


"
He it is Who did create you from a single soul, and therefrom did make his mate that he might take rest (LE YASKUNA i.e. SOOKUN i.e. TRANQUILITY) in her. And when he covered her she bore a light burden, and she passed (unnoticed) with it, but when it became heavy they cried unto Allah, their
Lord, saying: If thou givest unto us aright we shall be of the thankful."(7:189)


"And of His signs is this: He created for you helpmeets from yourselves that ye might find rest (LE TASKUNOO i.e. SOOKUN i.e. TRANQUILITY) in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect." (30:21)


And based on these 2 Ayats, as per Allah's order, the wife is fully responsible to provide TRANQUILITY i.e. SOOKUN i.e REST to husband by doing the job of house, since the husband's job is to earn for her, to provide her food and shelter, to maintain her, to look after her and to be her

protector, as Allah's order in 4:34.

 

How a wife's duties for the job of "house'wife" can go against above 3 Quranic Ayats?


Thanks and regards.

Wassalam.

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Answer:

 

Duties of Wife

 

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


 

Your Question: And based on these 2 Ayats, as per Allah's order, the wife is fully responsible to provide TRANQUILITY i.e. SOOKUN i.e REST to husband by doingthe job of house, since the husband's job is to earn for her, to provide her food and shelter, to maintain her, to look after her and to be her

protector, as Allah's order in 4:34.

 

How a wife's duties for the job of "house'wife" can go against above 3

Quranic Ayats?

 

Dear and beloved brother, we sincerely apologize if our article has given rise to any misunderstanding, and we appreciate that you have allowed us the opportunity to clarify our statements made.

 

First and foremost, it is not as if the wife, of her own free will, wishes to work and thus supplement her husbands burden in running the house, or does any housework for the upkeep of her home will be going against the Commands of Allah or tenets of Islam. It would only be considered righteousness and fair that if need be, the believing woman do her share in the upkeep of the house; but the money she spends or the housework she does is not within her prescribed scope of duties and responsibilities which Islam has laid upon her. If any wife, of her own free will, chooses to help share in the expense or do any chore of the house, she would be doing so over and above her duties and responsibilities that Islam has laid upon her.

 

Thus all we were trying to clarify is that as is the norm in the Ummah today, the husband assumes that the chores of the house are amongst the duties and responsibilities of a wife, and that he demands and assumes that it is the wife who should do the chores but Islamic Law dictates that the duty and responsibility of the complete household and its upkeep lies on the shoulders of the husband, and it is his responsibility that he maintains not only the expenses of the house and his wife, but even its complete upkeep. He may fulfill this responsibility by doing these chores himself, or by providing a servant or maid to do it, or any other way convenient to himbut the husband should know that it is his responsibility, and if his wife of her own free will chooses to help in doing the chores of the house, he should at least appreciate and be grateful for her help and her efforts.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their and their husbands honor, her husbands property, etc.)

 

To dwell and live in tranquility, love, mercy with each other in marriage is one thing, and to take on and assume the responsibility of the household and its chores is another. Peace, love, mercy, honor, respect and tranquility in marriage is more to do with the nature, manners, and dealings of one-another in a relationship rather than the doing of the chores of the house.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 189:

189 It is He who created you from a single person and made his mate of like nature in order that he might dwell with her (in love and tranquility).

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verse 21:

21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

 

For example, if a woman is given or takes on the responsibility of doing the chores of the house and she cooks and cleans perfectly, but is not willing to honor, respect, or be grateful for the favors of her husband on her, and does not talk to him with a straight facewill the relationship between the husband and wife be one of peace, love and tranquility??

 

On the other hand, if the husband fulfils his duty and provides for his wife and the house, and provides the servant to do the household chores, etc.; but is not willing to honor, or respect, or cherish, or talk to his wife with mercy and patience, will the relationship between the husband and the wife be one of peace and tranquility??

 

Dear and beloved brother, peace and tranquility in a household does not depend on what is provided but rather on the nature and manner the husband and wife love and appreciate each other in their relationship.

 

Just as a wife is allowed to earn and supplement the expense burden of her husband in the running of house, she is also allowed to help in doing the chores of the house; provided she does so of her own free will and choice and an as extension of her love for her husband, and not as her prescribed responsibility and duty. And when the wife earns to supplement the expense burden of the house, or helps in doing the household chores, the husband should realize and appreciate the help offered by his wife rather than assuming, demanding, or commanding that it is her responsibility to do so!

 

If the believing husbands of the Ummah could only understand this fact and appreciate the efforts of their wives in maintaining the chores of their house, a lot of the tranquility which is eroded by the constant blaming and finding faults in the chores of the house, their appreciative gesture would go a long way in re-building that elusive peace, honor, respect and tranquility in the relationship between a husband and a wife in marriage.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3263 Narrated by Aisha

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Among the believers who show most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition, and are kindest to their families."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (saws) was asked which woman was best he (saws) replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

 

Burhan




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