I was engaged to marry my cousin about 9 months back. We didn`t meet eachother for the last 15 yrs. Now I am 22. I started to talk to her since we got engaged and gradually the phone calls became very frequent and then on a daily basis though we r miles apart
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I was engaged to marry my cousin about 9 months back. We didn`t meet eachother for the last 15 yrs. Now I am 22. I started to talk to her since we got engaged and gradually the phone calls became very frequent and then on a daily basis though we r miles apart. So I want to ask u, if it is permitted to talk to
Please guide me what to do. Hope this is not too complex for u.
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Fiance and nikaah
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Your Question: So I want to ask u, if it is
permitted to talk to
Engagements to marry have absolutely no legal basis in Shariah Law, thus as long as the couple who intend are not married they remain non-mehrams to each other and all the restrictions that apply to two non-mehrams of the opposite sex apply to them in full.
There is absolutely no harm if the two people who are engaged to marry wish to meet or talk, provided the girl is accompanied by her mehram guardian like father, uncle, brother, etc.
The couple should fear Allah and strive to live within the boundaries of Islam and absolutely abstain from meeting or talking to each other in private.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118 Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab
The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram)woman, the Shaytaan makes a third."
Your Question: Now, Is it allowed in Islam, to have just Nikaah with my fiancee and not the actual marriage where the husband and wife have conjugal relationship?
Islam absolutely permits and encourages that two people who intend to marry should perform the nikaah marriage; and if due to circumstances they both agree to perform the rukhsati and live together at a later date, there is absolutely no harm. The nikaah would make the two of you absolutely lawful to each other and you may meet, talk, and do everything a married couple do.
The best evidence for the above allowance is in the example of the Messenger of Allah (saws). The time difference between the nikaah and the rukhsati of the marriage between the Prophet (saws) and his beloved wife Aisha was almost three years.
Your Question: Or, I have another option. That is, to marry her and also live together but do not conceive a child as I believe I am not mature enough to handle a family.
Beloved brother in Islam, to raise and handle a family is not something one experiences beforehand, but is something one learns on-the-job so to speak! As long as you are of marriageable age, the last thing you need to worry about is maturity, as this is a natural instinct of man and when one is faced with the responsibility, the natural instinct of man rises with the occasion.
Anyways, both the options that you have put forth are lawful and permissible in Islam, and you may choose any which one is suitable and comfortable for you and your family.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,